It always shocks me when people dismiss the fact that women aren’t treated as equals to men. Women aren’t even treated as people, in so many cases. The society, though, fails to accept the the fact that it is inferior to some people, and nicer to others. While scrolling Instagram the other day, a reel reminded me of this again. Sahini Banerjee, a food and lifestyle content creator shared her Chicken Laal Jhol recipe while talking about an experience that hit home.
She talked about her first realization of feeling inferior at her in laws’ home – and how it was about a chicken leg piece. The content creator mentioned that she has always liked it as a part of the dish, and her mother would save it for her at home. After getting married, the chicken leg was saved for his husband by the in laws. She put her point across with all honesty and said, “In the beginning it felt easier to let it go but the more I let go, the more I was expected to let other things go.”
We almost never address the small things where differential treatment begins. Sahini also addressed that she understood that it wasn’t wrongful intent and years of habit where good things are saved for the men in the house. The fact that her mother-in-law was also a woman who had to let go. However, the good part of the video is the fact that she talked about changing things – how she buys leg pieces for everybody. She added that women fail to communicate out of fear and resistance, but when there’s an opportunity to be treated equally she’d want to be treated equally.
I never knew that a simple recipe video would leave me with something to think about. Something that is every woman’s truth. The comments on the video pointed this out – that women everywhere have felt inferior in some way or the other. It also pointed our another truth, though – that ‘not all men’ get it. There are men asking the content creator to “just get more leg pieces” or “not whine about something so small”. So many men fail to understand what it means to not find equality and it’s not just about the chicken. Also, even if it is about food, it’s normal to want what men get served in a platter, literally.
Here’s proof that the absence of empathy can easily make one shallow.
This is also a reminder that we cannot expect a lot from other people, and so it’s important to look after oneself – especially as women.
