We’re a generation that LOVES coming up with new dating terms every year! From zombie-ing to benching and now, ‘the ick’. Wait, what does this term mean anyway? And why is everyone talking about it? You’re about to find out in 3,2,1…
Let’s say that you found this amazing person on a dating app. There’s an instant spark. You vibe over drinks. You go out on a couple of dates and everything is rainbows and fireworks from then on. Until one day, out of nowhere, and I mean NOWHERE, you notice something off about them.
Things that you once found adorable about them are now starting to get your goat. You don’t know why this is happening, but you’re no longer attracted to them as you were before. The worst part is that no matter how much you try not to make a big deal out of it, you can’t get past it. Here’s why we ‘think’ it happens.
This is a tough pill to swallow – you’re already over them in your mind. Every tiny habit of theirs (that you consider annoying) is a tiny subconscious reminder that they are not the people you thought they were. The reason why you cut off from them is that certain aspects of their nature do not identify with your personality or current way of life.
Here’s a second theory – maybe, it’s not them, it’s you! The way they play with their hair, the noise they make while chewing their food or biting their lips when they feel anxious – it grinds your gears. However, these are all their personal habits and you can’t expect them to change their ways just because you disapprove of them.
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Whether you have the ick or not, ALL of us deserve to be treated with kindness. Avoid being too judgemental around people who tick you off. Accept them for who they are and if you still can’t then, you need to take a break from them and do some introspecting from within. Ask yourself questions like, “Why do I feel put off when they’re around?” “What do they do to me that triggers anger?” “Can I find a way to live with this person?” Make a list of these points in a notebook and read them carefully after you’re done.
If the problem is minor, you can make peace with it and work on the relationship. However, if things get unbearable, it’s best to break up and end the relationship. At the end of the day, feelings need to be mutual. It can’t be a one-way street and if it is, you’re probably living the wrong fairytale. Sorry, not sorry.
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