P.M.S. – every girl’s ultimate frenemy! The moment the thought, ‘Woohoo! I’m not pregnant!’ passes, the symptoms begin. Everyone PMSes differently – some girls float through with a swing in their step, not a care in the world, while others will literally hunt you down if you so much as breathe too loudly near them! Here’s how girls react when PMSing! How many of these do you relate to?!
1. A Back Ache
Normal Me: ‘Oh, man, my back hurts!’
PMSing Me: ‘Why is this happening to me? I feel like my body is about to snap into 50 different pieces.’
2. Feeling Hungry
Normal Me: ‘Hmm, I’m quite hungry. Wonder what mom’s making for dinner…’
PMSing Me: ‘Daal chawal? Again? Are you trying to starve me? Why do you just want to see me cry all the time?’ *Sits and sobs while shovelling seconds of daal-chawal onto the plate*
3. Faced With Chocolate
Normal Me: ‘Ooo, yum, I’ll just have a couple of pieces!’
PMSing Me: *Unavailable for comment. Too busy tearing open wrapper number seven…teen*
4. Fighting With Bae
Normal Me: ‘You know what? You’re just being really unreasonable. I’ll call you later, bye.’
PMSing Me: ‘Yeah? Oh, yeah? Well, f*ck you! I hate you! Don’t ever speak to me again!’
5. Mum Calling You
Normal Me: ‘Yeah, be there in two minutes!’
PMSing Me: ‘I SAID – GIVE ME A MINUTE!!’
6. Life Prospects
Normal Me: ‘Okay, so I’m not exactly where I said I would be when I reached 25 – on the career front…or the boyfriend front. But at least I have had some pretty awesome experiences!’
PMSing Me: ‘But what have I actually achieved? What will I ever achieve? What if my destiny is just as bleak as the grey weather and this sofa and I are just destined to become one?!’
7. Thinking About Exercise
Normal Me: ‘Ah, man, I hate the gym… But whatever, I’ll go.’
PMSing Me: ‘Did I remember to buy chocolate ice cream or not?’ *Cancels pilates class from calendar*
8. Going Out To Party
Normal Me: ‘Eee, can’t wait to try out my new black heels!’
PMSing Me: ‘Why aren’t pyjama parties a thing anymore?’
9. Meeting A Friend’s Newborn Baby
Normal Me: ‘Aww, so cute… Look at his little toes!’
PMSing Me: ‘I knew my life was missing something. And I have found it now. THIS is my true calling – I must make a baby!’
10. There Being Dhania On Your Food
Normal Me: ‘Ugh, again? I told them to remove it…’
PMSing Me: *Bursts into tears* WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?! WHY, GOD, WHY?
11. Bed Time
Normal Me: ‘Finally! Goodnight, world.’
PMSing Me: ‘Oh, my heavenly, bounteous, cushiony joy! I missed you so much, bed!’
12. At Work With Colleagues
Normal Me: ‘Shall I help you out with that? I have some spare time…’
PMSing Me: *Just pretend to look in exactly the opposite direction and they might not even notice you’re in the room*
13. Playing With A Puppy
Normal Me: ‘Who’s a good boy?! You’re a good boy!!’
PMSing Me: ‘You are my best friend in this whole universe, did I ever tell you that?! I love you my little puppy, doggy, cutest, bestest munchkin of joy!!!’
14. Ordering Food
Normal Me: ‘Yeah, so I’ll have a medium cheese pizza…’
PMSing Me: ‘Yeah, so I’ll have a medium cheese pizza… Actually, make that a large. Does that come with any combos? Okay. And a chocolate milkshake too? Okay, thanks, bye!’
15. When Bae Wants To Get Off The Phone
Normal Me: ‘Okay, bye.’
PMSing Me: ‘WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WANT TO LEAVE ME? WHY? WHYYYYYYYY?!’
