Let me begin by telling you that there is absolutely nothing wrong in living with your in-laws. It does have a lot of advantages. If you’re lucky, their interference in your life will be minimal and they may even be happy to lend a helping hand to your everyday chores. But what about building your own life? In Indian culture, there is an expectation that you have to live with your in-laws once you’re married. But are you willing to stay with them just for the sake of it?
Well, wanting to move out of your in-law’s house to a home you can build yourself is not selfish and doesn’t make you a bad person. If you’ve been wanting to move out and didn’t know how to bring it up, here are some tips that will make the transition easier and happier, for both you and his parents.
1. Talk To Your Husband
Even if moving out after the wedding was a mutual decision taken by you and your husband, it’s always better to talk to him once you are ready to go ahead with it. For a life-changing decision like this one, it’s very important that both of you are on the same page. Otherwise, it might create unnecessary rifts.
2. Let Him Talk To His Parents First
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No matter how close you are to your in-laws, do not directly talk to them about moving out. This might be taken as one of the complaints by a ‘newcomer’ in the family. Unfair, but this happens. Let your husband have ‘the chat’ with his parents.
3. Drop Hints So That It Doesn’t Come As A Shocker!
If you don’t want your decision to come as a shocker to them, you can always build up around the situation. Start dropping subtle hints about what you’re thinking. You can bring up some examples of your friends, who are shifting to a new house. Or mention how your workplace is too far off. Keep it subtle and don’t be rude.
Also read: 11 REAL Challenges Of Living With The In-Laws
4. Do NOT Make Them Think That You’re Moving Out Permanently
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No matter what your plans are, always try to convince them that you’re not moving out permanently. Make them understand that this is just a temporary phase, which will help you in learning to manage the household independently.
5. Make Them Understand That All’s Well
As soon as you break the news of moving out of the house, there is a possibility that your in-laws might get too dramatic and might wonder if they have done something wrong. Make them understand politely that your decision is not because of any argument you may have had. You’re only moving out ‘coz you’d like to stay separately for a while.
6. Try Shifting Next Door
For starters, try shifting to an apartment nearby. This will help your in-laws with the transition as you will not be far away from them. You can also look at living on different floors, if not an entirely different apartment.
Once you’ve convinced your in-laws about your decision, here are some things you can do to make them feel comfortable about it.
- Visit them often, at least during the initial few months of the shift.
- Do not make them feel that they are unwanted in your lives anymore.
- Always make birthdays/anniversaries/festivals special by dropping in and celebrating with them.
- Invite them over for meals and to stay weekends with you.
- Make sure that their grandchild (if any) spends quality time with them.
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