There is a side of Instagram and TikTok where women are deciding to enter their soft-girl era. And with that comes entering their soft-girl dating era as well. So, what does the soft-girl era mean? Well, the trend is about women taking the initiative to create more opportunities for rest and rejuvenation in their lives. That involves letting go of all the ways in which they do emotional labour for others and expend energy and time on things and situations that only leave them depleted.
One may argue that this sounds like laziness, that this sounds like a woman who doesn’t really want to do much with her life, because you can’t exactly avoid strain and stress in your life. We have bills to pay, families to look after and well, reality to tend to. So how can a person really prioritise rest, without having a certain level of privilege?
The thing about the soft-girl mentality is that it’s more about cultivating respect and grace for yourself. It’s more about focusing on how you can maximise taking care of yourself, as opposed to letting the responsibilities and duties in your life burn you out.
But what does this have to do with one’s dating life? Well, according to the soft-girl dating philosophy, women can prioritise themselves better in dating and romantic situations by leaving more room for their partners to take initiative. The idea isn’t to push the load of a relationship onto a person, but rather to allow them to set the tone for a reciprocal relationship.
According to many women, the current scenario of dating is somehow an imbalanced dynamic. Where women once fought to be seen and treated as equals to their male counterparts, today the see-saw of many hetero relationships is tipping more towards men’s requirements being fulfilled. Rather than, both parties being nourished equally.
And the soft-girl dating trend is just a way for women to say ‘Hey, we know you want to be taken care of and doted on in relationships, we do too, so let’s give each other what we both want! Let’s both spoil each other.’
