A few months ago, S and I met through our families and decided to get married to each other. From the first awkward phone call, to the first date to the first time we kept talking all night long – this is the third in a series all about our arranged marriage… Read #ArrangedShaadi: Choosing My Bridal Outfits With My Mom-In-Law… here!
I’ve secretly wished to win some lottery all my life, so that I can buy whatever it is that I want to without having to think about the expense twice. Who knew getting married would make this wish come true?! One of the biggest perks of getting married is that you can buy it all – those gorgeous shoes, that bag you saved up for, that delicate lingerie – name it and you can have it, for your parents play genie and roll out wads of cash out of thin air (or so it seems) for your wedding shopping. Not that you should get married to be able to shop, but I am just saying that that’s what happens and it is a LOT of fun. You know, shopping has this incredible power to get even the most resilient women excited about weddings, and when my parents arranged my marriage with S, three months back, I got shopping and fell madly in love with it too. I felt like my trousseau was a bottomless treasure chest that I was obliged to fill up with the best of what the world had to offer. And so, armed with a long list of things that I needed to buy, I started spending my days and nights shopping for them… Until it became a mad obsession of mine.
You don’t realize it right then, but when you’re told by every relative and random sales person alike that you get to be a bride only once – you start acting like it. You start feeling like this is your one big chance to get everything you want, the only time in life when you can spend without worrying about the price tag. You feel like you should make the most of this ‘opportunity’ and suddenly shopping for the wedding seems more important and exciting than the wedding itself!
But, my slowly towering trousseau was never enough to satisfy me, or make me happy. I kept feeling like I was one sari, one suit, a block heel, a clutch away from having it all. And my greed slowly spread out to other parts of my wedding too. I wanted to control everything, from the venue where my functions were to take place, to the décor, the food, the groom’s outfits and even the decisions that my in-laws took. I was turning into a bridezilla who would roam about irritated, complaining about how she had less time and so much shopping to do. In my head, I just wanted a perfect, fairytale wedding that would be talked about for days after. In my head, if I was to be a bride just once, I wanted the day to be special and I didn’t want to lose this competition. So I tried to hold multiple reigns and control too many things all at once, and the reigns eventually snapped at my fingers, hurt me and only caused to frustrate me further.
You’ve got to understand that things fall apart and disasters happen even in fairytales. You don’t get a story to narrate if everything happens the way you want it. It’s not even exciting then.
Of course you want a fairy tale, but fairy tales are magical not because everything is perfect in them, but because, in the end, everything turns out alright, and the ending is a happy one. So, even if you feel like nothing is in your control at your own wedding, if you feel like things aren’t going your way – just breathe and remember that as long as you and your partner are happy and excited about starting this new journey together – you will make a gorgeous couple and your wedding day will be special.
By the way, I am going to be married to S in a month, and life couldn’t get messier and our planning couldn’t get more awry what with the currency itself being demonetized. But guess what? I’ve decided to feel nothing short of a queen on my wedding day and make my wedding worthy of a story to be told, over and over again. Magic will happen when I’ll marry S and we’ll vow to love each other, come what may.