#ArrangedShaadi: Choosing My Bridal Outfits… With My Mom-In-Law
A few months ago, S and I met through our families and decided to get married to each other. From the first awkward phone call, to the first date to the first time we kept talking all night long - this is the second in a series all about our arranged marriage… Read #ArrangedShaadi: Falling In Love With The Guy My Dad Found… here!
I always thought I’d make a beautiful bride. That’s putting it mildly, actually. In my head, I imagined myself looking flat-out fabulous on my wedding day and being the kind of bride who basically raises the bar for her contemporary brides-to-be. No wonder then, that I started looking out for my perfect wedding outfit from the day I got engaged to S. My mission was simple and clear - to unearth 2 stunning dresses that would ensure all eyes on me and elicit envy and admiration. I wanted to be a sight to remember, for days after.
Only, I didn’t know then that my in-laws were going to pay for those outfits. For those of you who’re unaware of this teeny tiny sweet little tradition, here’s what it is - It means that your in-laws will not just have a say over what you wear at each of your functions, but will also ‘help’ you choose them.
When my mother-in-law reminded me of this, I struck a deal with her. I asked her if I could do the initial running around and pick out a few options that she could finally choose from. Thankfully, she agreed. Only, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that she would incidentally pick out my favourite pieces and ask the designer to make multiple changes in them!
I felt the pang of every single change made in my ensembles in my heart, I kid you not. I was visibly upset and wanted to put my foot down and demand that no such change be made, but of course I didn’t. However, my in-laws could see that I didn’t particularly love their suggestions, even if I wasn’t protesting against them. So, we decided to let things be for the moment and look for more options, elsewhere.
But my heart was set on those dresses I had already chosen and I decided to try them on again, this time with the changes that were suggested by my in-laws. And, guess what? An extra dupatta, a slightly more covered-up back and a different lace didn’t make much of a difference to my outfit. But me agreeing to these changes made a lot of difference to my in-laws. ‘Coz for them, I had respected their suggestions and suddenly they were so much more eager to accept and accommodate mine.
So if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t make the mistakes I did. Don’t go about cringing at and objecting to every change your in-laws suggest. Those changes could turn out to work for you! No, that doesn’t mean you let go of that design you dearly love, either. Instead, talk to your in-laws about keeping that design and tweaking it slightly to fit their expectations.
In the end, you want to win hearts. You can always catch eyeballs later.
And here’s a true fact for you - every single woman looks beautiful dressed up as a bride. So don’t you worry about looking any less fabulous. Have fun and stay happy we say, for happy brides are truly the prettiest.