Did you know that India has the lowest divorce rates in the world? And while we Indians might take great pride here, the reality behind this is perhaps darker than we’d like to accept. Those who have watched the controversial docu-series Indian Matching on Netflix would know that marriages in India are, in fact, built on ‘compromise’ which perhaps explains the longevity of Indian marriages. Also, when it comes to ‘compromise’ more often than not it is the women in marriage who shoulder most of the burden and at times also succumb to the whims of an abusive partner just to ‘make it work.’
Sadly, this mindset to make even troubled marriages work in India runs across all strata in the country with even policy makers and law authorities partaking in the same. In fact, in shocking news recently, Madhya Pradesh high court ended up granting anticipatory bail to a man accused of dowry harassment and cruelty. And why? Well, the reason will shock you! Because Madhya Pradesh high court’s principal bench at Jabalpur felt that if the man goes to jail then the “marriage would almost surely come to an end as thereafter there would be hardly any chances of compromise.”
It’s important to note that the alleged perpetrator from Dindori district was facing charges based on a First Information Report (FIR) lodged by his wife in which she accused him of abusing her, demanding money and land from her family, sexually harassing her, engaging in unnatural sex, and denying medical aid to her. The FIR was thus lodged under sections 294 (Obscene acts and songs), 498-A (Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty) and 34 (act done by several persons in furtherance of common intention) of Indian Penal Code (IPC) and sections 3 and 4 of Dowry Prohibition Act as per a report by Hindustan Times.
However, obviously obsessed to make it work, the MP high court found all these allegations “trivial” and felt that all this can actually “happen in any marital home.” Highly problematic as it is, wait till you read the court’s observation while granting the bail: “Looking at the facts and circumstances of the case, I find that the allegations are trivial and can happen in any marital home. Marriages would always experience some friction or the other. There are no signs of injuries on the body of the complainant…This court is also of the opinion that if the applicant goes to jail, the marriage would almost surely come to an end as thereafter there would be hardly any chances of compromise. However, as the allegations reveal that they are trivial in nature, a window of compromise or settlement is always kept open.”
No wonder the divorce rates are so low in India. I mean what would you expect in a country where abuse, sexual harassment, and demands for dowry are seen as everyday occurring too “trivial” to end a marriage? Also, the judge is obviously completely incapable of thinking from the complainant’s point of view. Didn’t they read the huge list of concerns raised by her? Yes, imprisonment might end it but who even wants to make such a traumatic marriage work anyway? Also, why the hell are we forcing our women to stay married to dowry hungry abusers?
When it comes to troubled marriages, how much do you think someone can “compromise” to make it work? Also, when is it that the tipping point arrives? It is certainly high time that we cut the crap and most importantly educate our judicial bodies who cannot still let go of their sexism and misogyny.
Also, this is not the first time that MP High Court has made a problematic observation this month. Earlier in August, the Indore bench of MP high court had granted bail to sexual harassment accused. The court had also asked him to get a rakhi tied by the victim on Raksha Bandhan. The single bench was headed by Justice Rohit Arya. “The applicant, along with his wife, shall visit the house of the complainant with rakhi thread/band on August 3 at 11 am with a box of sweets and request the complainant to tie rakhi to him with the promise to protect her to the best of his ability for all times to come,” he had said.
Clearly, MP court needs a huge ideological transformation as well as sensitisation training here. How can we feel safe in India when the law enforcement bodies in the country keep clutching on to such archaic and problematic mindsets?
