Had I been a part of the Walt Disney production house, Beauty and the Beast would’ve had all talking make-up products instead of house objects… I mean, it’s only obvious if the name of the movie itself has ‘beauty’. Though I found that bit of the film extremely disturbing, I wouldn’t feel the same way if my make-up could talk to me. Imagine getting reminders from your concealer itself that it needs to be repurchased or you are going to have panda eyes for the rest of the week! I’d love that!
What about the other products, you ask? Read on!
1. Ms. Oh-So Highlighter: The ‘Lit’ One
“Girl, what would you do without me? I mean I know drinking water can do everything that I can but I’m easier, aren’t I? Just a sweep and you’re set to shine. I don’t know what you’d do without me… probably just sip on water, I guess!”
TBH, she’d be the Kim Cattrall of your make-up kitty! Always up to party and adding sparkle to your life with her presence.
2. Mr. I’m So Lonely Primer: The Sidey One
“How is it that you always remember to use me after you’re done applying your foundation? Like, oops! What about the primer I bought a few decades ago? I protect your skin from all my frenemies; those pore-clogging brats! Have you no respect?”
Sorry, primer! But if you could actually talk, I’d set an alarm on you to use before I put all my make-up. Sincere apologies!
3. Mrs. Red-dington: The Understanding Red Lipstick
“Oh honey, are you not in the mood to get up and put on all your make-up? Why don’t you just use me and be the boss lady that you are? I’ll help you feel like one even if you don’t have your sh*t together yet. I get you and you rock me like no one’s business! Now chop-chop ‘coz it’s time to ‘woo’!”
I love you, Mrs. Reddington. You’re like the understanding landlady I wanted but never had!
4. Mr. OCD Make-up Remover: The Neat-Freak
“Ever thought of using me before going to sleep? I stab my friends in the back just to make your skin feel better and cleaner. I remove the masterpiece created by my BFFs and that hurts! So you better start using me every night. I get performance pressure if you use me to remove last night’s make-up the next morning. That can’t work anymore, okay?”
I will always have a love-hate relationship with you but I do adore you for how you make my skin feel after I use you… occasionally.
5. Mr. Gangsta Beauty Blender: The Bath Lover
“Okay, love… let’s get this straight. I can’t function without you giving me a bath. You HAVE to soak me in lukewarm water for non-cakey make-up or I’m just going to screw you over. So, you don’t have another option, okay? C’mon now, let’s turn that tap on!“
I’m so tired of buying new beauty sponges everytime one gets too dirty, I might just let this gangster rule my life…
6. Ms. Congeniality Foundation: The Best One
“I’d like to thank the setting powder for not letting me melt… the blush that adds colour to the cheeks (something I can never do). The highlighter and contour stick that makes me look like Kim K! Thank you all, what would she do without you? What would she do with me, alone?”
Bless your soul, foundation!
7. Ms. Cool Kohl: The Serial Waker
“No, you can’t leave the house without applying me! You’re not ready to face the world. They will keep asking you if you’re unwell or if you slept late and we don’t want that, right? Just carry me along and keep me in the safe zone. I got your back!”
‘Kajra re’ is all thanks to you, cool kohl!
Did I get everything? Is this what your make-up would say too?
