Long-distance is the commitment of the brave. They say, ‘Whoever wants to make a relationship work makes it work regardless of anything’, but that’s easier said than done. In a more realistic scenario, life gets the best of you two. The partner who moves out has to adjust to an overwhelmingly new setting whilst simultaneously battling the pain of separation. But life also becomes evidently different for the one who stays back. In cases where both partners move to different plays, there’s another rigmarole of acclimatising to new life with little time spare for each other.
Ideally, a relationship shouldn’t begin on a long-distance note. The couple should have ample time to build the foundation of their bond, laying the seeds of trust before either of them moves out. Dealing with distance becomes much easier that way without unnecessary insecurities popping in between.
Over the years, people on the Internet with insightful long-distance relationship experience have shared their anecdotes on how to make it work. They’re worth noting, take a look –
1. “Trust. If you don’t have it, it’s not going to work out. I’m almost to a year of mostly being apart from my SO, it’s tough. But, if you put even the slightest bit of effort into the relationship and talk every day, it’s not so bad. Visits and gifts are nice too, try to do nice things despite the distance.”
2. “Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. When my boyfriend and I started long distance, he thought he had to stay strong for me and didn’t express that he was sad that I wasn’t around. All this achieves is making the other person feel unbalanced and that they’re the only ones feeling this way. Let your partner know when you’re sad as much as you would if you were happy.”
– ndharts
3. “Calls and video calls, especially if you call while just doing a normal part of your daily routine, like eating a meal, watching a show or movie, doing some little chores around the house, or even just laying in your bed or on the couch and just talking to each other, this really makes you feel more connected to them and more like you are right there with them.”
4. “On his birthday, I dressed up, bought a small cupcake to blow and made food to eat for the ‘both of us’, but really, I was the only one who ate it. Or, I took him ‘out’ on a date. I’d go eat at a restaurant and be on a call with him while we both eat.”
– arutia
5. “MASTURBATING TOGETHER!”
6. “My answer is probably weird but be comfortable with silence over the phone. It’s so important because some couples need to sustain themselves with activities together but in reality, if you’re a real couple, getting through mundane times by being comfortable with just each other’s presence is what will help you last!!”
7. “It also helps to meet in the 5D for intimacy. That’s also a polite way of saying phone sex, video chats and naughty texts. It’s important to have sexual outlets that bring you together, even when you’re physically far apart. It’s bonding.”
8. “Updating each other with our lives was a biggie for me and my partner. Even if it’s just letting each other know where we are going, who we are with etc. It really helped me feel involved, tackled jealousy in certain areas, and allowed us to grow stronger. If I went to a gym class, I’d update him. If he had a crappy day at work, he would tell me about it. It’s easy to forget that they are not just a ‘pen pal’ when you haven’t seen each other in weeks or months. They are your partner.”
9. “Constant communication, visiting each other as much as possible, and having a plan to make this situation temporary.”
– 2zoots
10. “Knowing each other quite well first before the distance starts is the absolute key to most LD arrangements I’ve known of, both myself and others.”
The long-distance setting should ideally be temporary. Like even if you’re gonna be physically separate from each other for a couple of years, there should be a mutual understanding that the setting is short-lived. Otherwise, it could be a stormy journey.
