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Monday Has Come & The Spoilers Come With It… But We Still Don’t Give A Rat’s Ass About GoT

Monday Has Come & The Spoilers Come With It… But We Still Don’t Give A Rat’s Ass About GoT

The final season of Internet’s favourite show Game of Thrones is running hot and so is the blood in our veins, for we simply don’t get why everyone is so obsessed with the show. Every Monday, a new episode is released and it results in two things – one, people stay away from social media and go off-the-grid if they haven’t watched it in the morning (it goes live at 6:30 am) to avoid spoilers, and two, people who’ve watched it give spoilers. Well, spoilers or no spoilers, we don’t give a rat’s ass about GoT.

Here are five things that happen in today’s episode titled ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’ that are all the rage on the internet and ruining Monday for us GoT virgins with their irrelevance.

1. Someone named Arya Stark has sex with someone named Gendry ‘coz abhi na kiya toh fir kabhi nahi, kabhi nahi.


That’s right. They are at war with the army of the dead who, BTW, can come any moment at Winterfell, but Arya and Gendry have to have sex right now! While we are on the subject, can’t you people carry a condom underneath all those layers of clothes? #SexEducationIsImportant

2. Tall woman and Jamie Lannister are like so in love – Ahem. Sexual. Tension. Ahem.


Now that Cersie is out of the picture ‘coz sister nahi sinister hai, Jamie is on Brienne’s side to spend the rest of his days like an honourable man by fighting under her command. Meanwhile, Tormund tries to woo his lady love…by drinking a gallon of milk from his horn-shaped mug. Who cares, eh?


3. All the lords sit in front of a bonfire where Jamie anoints Brienne as ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdom’ – what up title reference!


Bas! Itna hi tha.

4. Bran Stark has forgiven Jamie for making him a cripple ‘coz raat gayi, baat gayi.


Bran Stark, who is not Bran anymore as he is the three-eyed raven now after graduating from tree college North of the wall, has forgiven Jamie Lannister for pushing him off the tower in season 1. Why? In a face-off between the golden lion and the crippled wolf/flying raven, they have a heart to heart and basically, bhool chook maaf.

5. Jon Snow finally tells Daenerys Targaryen that he is Aegon Targaryen, the rightful king to the throne.


Jon and Dany reunite in the crypt, but this time, they ain’t making out anymore. Also, the moment she realises that she has been doing it with her little nephew is pure gold. We were just horrified when these incestuous relationships were being discussed in the edit room, but apparently in the GoT universe, it ain’t a big deal really.

Other than all this, looks like the Night King and his army have finally arrived at the destination in their Ola rentals although there is still some ETA left that Winterfell is making the most of – by having their last drink, by losing virginity, by becoming a knight (for a night?), and by showing their real Aadhar card.

Also Read: You’ll Relate To These Memes If You Don’t Give A Rat’s Ass About Game Of Thrones

Featured Image: YouTube, GIFs: Tenor, Rebloggy

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22 Apr 2019

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