From the entire idea of kanyadaan to the highly problematic vachans (promises) that the bride and groom are made to give to each other, there’s just so much sexism in the Indian wedding rituals. It is as if the entire concept of wedding rituals was conceptualised to satisfy patriarchy and all its regressive constructs.
If you examine closely, most of these wedding rituals have been created to subtly program women into believing that men are doing a favour by marrying them, that they are subordinate to men, that “pati is parmeshawar.” A very good demonstration of the same is when women are made to touch their husband’s feet during some of the wedding rituals. From Kerala to Kashmir, the ritual is followed in a lot of communities across the length and breadth of India. Well, we don’t need to tell you what’s so problematic about the entire act and why it’s downright sexist to expect women to touch their husbands’ feet while they stand and gloat in their patriarchal Godhood.
Now, we don’t know about you but we are always up for an act of subversion that challenges the very premise of patriarchy and just came across something that caught our attention for that exact reason. In a recently released video from a Bengali wedding, it was the groom who took it upon himself to subvert the sexist wedding rituals and left us mighty impressed.
In the video, right after the bride can be seen touching the groom’s feet so as to take blessings from him, he can be seen going down on his knees and doing the same. Here’s the video:
If you think about it, most of these rituals would stop being sexist if both men and women started doing them or just stopped doing them altogether. Thus, it’s not in the act that sexism lies but in how it’s executed with one side always losing it in the overall bargain.
That’s precisely why we are all praises for this Bengali groom who apparently recognised the overall problem with the system and didn’t shy away from reciprocating the respect and regard that he has for his wife. Now that’s a ritual that we approve of but don’t get us wrong. What the groom did here, should be something that sensible men should be doing anyway. However, it’s the thought that counts and this guy absolutely deserves a shoutout for that. Wish, more men could learn from him!
Featured Image: Instagram
