It’s not easy for women to reach an orgasm. And at times, even though you might be in the mood and enjoying the sexual experience, you end up not having one. This might make you feel that there is something wrong with you. Well ladies, it is time for you to relax! Sometimes, you have an orgasm and sometimes you don’t and we just have to live with it and work towards getting orgasms. Of course that leads to several questions so here are 10 of your questions about not having orgasms…answered!
1. Is there something wrong with me?
Absolutely not! Orgasm is not only achieved through the stimulation of the G-spot but also through the C-spot. Thus the next time you have sex, stimulate your C-spot by either being in the girl on top position or doggie style as they help in creating friction between the vaginal lips and the clitoris, enhancing the sensations.
2. Is it because I am not fully turned on?
If you and your guy are racing through the foreplay, the chances of you not having an orgasm are really high. Foreplay works like warm up for our body and is one of the most important factors that come into play when trying to have an orgasm. So let him caress your body and sometimes it’s good for you to just lie down and enjoy the pleasures.
3. Sometimes I tune out during sex? Can that be the reason?
While you both are at it, there might be a chance that you tune out and get distracted with something around you or you might just have a random thought in your head. Well, each time that happens, your chances of having an orgasm do reduce. For obvious reasons, you’re not focussing on your physical pleasure. Make sure you do put not just your body but also your mind into it. Tune out all these thoughts and tune into the moment instead!
4. Is he doing things wrong?
Yes, there might be times when he is not able to arouse you properly and thus you are unable to experience an orgasm. Every woman is different and thus there isn’t any one motion or angle that would be pleasurable for all. If you feel that he is unable to hit your correct spots, communicate the same to him and help him get there.
5. Will being loud help?
You have to be your natural self and not hold yourself back. So if that means being loud then yes, it will work wonders. Basically the idea is to do what feels right in the moment. If you specifically try to be quiet and shy during sex, chances of an orgasm definitely get low. Embrace the experiences you are feeling and see how they work out for you. Not only will it help you but also your man!
6. Do I need to masturbate often?
We know masturbation has been a taboo for too long but it is one of the best ways to know what takes you to the climax. How frequently you masturbate and pleasure yourself has a direct chance of you reaching an orgasm when you are with your partner. Now you know what works for you and can tell your partner.
7. Should I pee before sex?
Surprisingly, yes! Peeing before sex does have an effect on the chances of you getting an orgasm. When your man is stimulating your spots, specially your G-spot, it can suddenly make you feel like you need to pee. This feeling of wanting to pee in the middle of sex would make you clench up and thus not reach an orgasm. Who would have known, huh?
8. Should I feel guilty about making my partner wait for me to orgasm?
Just like your partner needs to give you time to get turned on and get the natural lubrication going, he also needs to give you time to orgasm. Women can take anything from a few minutes to 20 minutes to get an orgasm. Thus, patience here is the key to success. Don’t feel guilty, instead pay attention to your pleasure and allow that pleasure to grow.
9. Is natural lubrication not enough? Should I use any lubricants?
The wetter, the better. If natural lubrication is not very effective, using external lubricants can be of good help since extra lube makes every touch and thrust feel smoother and more pleasurable. However make sure it is a water based lubricant so you don’t end up having allergies down there.
10. Can I do any exercises?
Kegel exercises can really help women. Just like the other muscles in our body, the vaginal muscles can also be strengthened by doing a simple exercise. Locate the muscles that you use for peeing and contract them as tight as you can. Hold for 3 seconds and then release and repeat. Try doing this 15 times per session and do it 2-3 times in a day. The contraction and relaxation technique would strengthen the vaginal muscles which would lead to greater flexibility and control during sex and thus automatically increase chances of an orgasm.
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