I know a friend who once got over a two-year-long relationship with a two-hour-long shopping spree. But then again, I also happen to know someone who has still been grieving their ex three years after the breakup. Then there’s the one who has a way of leveling up after every breakup and becoming a better version of themselves. So here’s the thing: both the idea of moving on and grieving are highly relative and all of us happen to experience them differently.
The bottom line is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve a loss and that’s why we find it really ludicrous when we see celebs being shamed on social media for grieving their loss in their own unique way. Reality TV star Divya Agarwal recently fell prey to such vicious trolls who tried calling her out for posting a picture from her magazine shoot a few days after her dad’s demise.
Soon after posting the picture, her inbox was full of messages from people trying to shame her for doing so. “Kuch din toh ruk jaati,” said one of the trolls. “You forgot your father so easily and moved on for money, wow,” wrote another. However, not one to take this nonsense and bow down to trolling, Divya promptly shut them down by sharing screenshots of these messages and writing, “I really don’t know what to say … why do I have to feel guilty about moving on? My dad, my loss, my way of handling.. It’s sad to see people still want to demean you in such situations.. maybe the world is so toxic right now.. they only want to see people cry.”
In another post, she also talked about how Virat Kohli was hailed and appreciated for resuing work just a day after his father’s demise, while she is getting trolled for it. “We are in a country where @viratkohli is respected for resuming back to his passion after his father’s demise. But when I’m willing to do the same, people are trolling me.”
This actually reminds us of how Ankita Lokhande was vehemently trolled for not posting a condolence message after Sushant Singh Rajput’s death. But this also brings to light a graver concern. While it is considered okay for men to suck it up and resume work when it comes to grieving women, nothing less than hysteria would suffice.
Sadly all of this comes after Divya had already expressed that her father lived a great life and wouldn’t want to see them grieving from where he is right now. She talked about it on an Instagram live with her boyfriend, Varun Sood, and also shared that she and her family continue to live their lives happily because this is what her father would really want. “We are going to celebrate Diwali. I am going to ask my mom to keep Karva Chauth, she is not going to remove her bindi and Hum shok nahi manayenge (We will not mourn),” she said during the live.
But that’s not it. For once, let’s forget that Divya actually said something about not mourning. And even after that how is it justified to slide into the DMs of someone who has just lost a parent and tell them that they have not mourned enough? If anything it is these trolls who should be feeling this shame that they are so casually trying to dump on Divya. And while they are at it, perhaps they can also mourn the death of their humanity given that they know the right way to do it!
Featured Image: Instagram