Dating apps may be the reason why dating is easier these days. However, they’re also the reason why most people don’t wish to date at all, anymore. Imagine having to read the similar bios, pick-up lines and prompts all day. It’s annoying, right? That’s literally how dating apps function these days. With no intention to hurt any sentiments: it’s common to come across unfunny men who think they’re funny. Of course, they overdo with the jokes. Other don’t put efforts, so their prompts are like those copied ‘good morning texts’.
Since we are nice, we’re going to be honest about what does NOT work at all. In fact, if you’re writing this, you should quit dating:
1. Dating me is like…
“Drinking tea on a chilly day.”
Tea is profound and you must not oversell yourself. While nothing comes close to drinking tea on a chilly day, it’s also too cliched. Make SOME effort.
2. The secret to getting to know me…
“Just ask.”
It’s one thing to be honest, it’s another to be brutal. Nobody wants to talk to a person whose first impression is “just ask”. Be nice.
3. I’m convinced that…
“Ross and Rachel were on a break.”
No they were not. When you’re saying this you imply that infidelity is fine as long as you’re ‘logically correct’. Also, who are you? Marta Kauffman?
4. I want someone…
“Who gets sarcasm.”
Let me be ‘brutal’ here. If you have to justify your sarcasm, you probably aren’t as good at it as you think. Might as well stop.
5. I’m looking for…
“The Pam to my Jim.”
When you say that you’re looking for a person like Pam, you must know that you’re probably not a Jim. I’m like 99.9% sure that you’re not. In a nutshell, Jim toh ban jao, phir baat karna.
6. Together we can…
“Delete this app.”
It’s a dating app, not Sima Taparia’s matrimonial services. So, calm down.
7. This year I really want to…
“Go on that Goa trip.”
If you use this as a prompt, you should really delete the app and go on that Goa trip. People around you are probably tired of hearing about it, please do them a favour.
8. I want someone who…
“Looks at me the way I look at pizza.”
I like how the world is full of over-confident people who think they deserve all this attention. Trust me, though, no one wants to swipe right if you’re writing this.
9. First round is on me if…
“Second round is on you.”
You think you’re very clever, right? That your match wouldn’t get the trick that you played? I’ll give you this one… wouldn’t want to burst bubbles.
10. Don’t hate me if…
“I eat all your food.”
Nobody likes a person who eats ALL their food. Also, please stop with the food responses – be more creative.
You’re welcome.
