Okay so you got married and officially have a ‘better half’ – air quotes because it’s debatable!
Trust us; there’s no way to know your husband’s annoying habits before the wedding. Yup, there are some especially annoying things all husbands do. Just knowing yours is not the only infuriating one gives you hope, right? So sit back and laugh it off. That’s the key to a happy marriage, we’re told.
1. Leave his wet towel on the floor or the bed.
Hell hath no fury like a wife who just found a damp towel at her feet. WHY CAN’T HE PUT IT TO DRY LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING?!
2. Zone out while you are talking.
If I could hear him go on and on about The Godfather for the zillionth time, I don’t understand why he lost interest in my equally engaging (if not more) true story about the drama between my besties!
3. Crib about you shopping.
I mean, I don’t even shop that much. And with online shopping, most of it is done alone in the sanctity of my personal space. So what in the world is the problem here?
4. Snoring loud enough to scare the neighbours.
There was no way of knowing this before the damn wedding, and frankly, I think he got lucky with that!
5. Sleep when you had decided to go out.
Umm, what part of ‘this is our plan’ did he not follow?! Honestly, Disney should have made a film on him. He’s the real friggin’ sleeping beauty!
6. Be indecisive about food!
Baby, simple question – are we eating at home? Are we going out? What is our food situation? If you could be so kind as to just make up your mind it would be really generous of you! *Insert death stare here*
7. Make fun of you at inopportune moments
Okay, this one habit can go from cute to annoying before you can finish saying the words “that escalated quickly.”
8. Expect you to take lesser time to get ready.
Why don’t you wear a sari next time; along with heels, a purse, matching jewellery, ironed hair, and flawless makeup? WHY DON’T YOU?
9. Get annoyed at you for being on social media!
It’s annoying that you haven’t learnt till now that I will need a perfectly angled selfie of us at all picturesque venues. Why crib and ruin the mood?
10. Make plans with people before checking in first…
When I give you the look, learn to ‘abort mission’ – effective immediately!
11. Forget occasions that matter to you!
Yes, dating anniversaries must still be celebrated. This is an order, not a request. *Insert sweet smile here*
12. Live like a polar bear
Why does it feel like Antarctica in our room? The AC temperature is always on Minus, it feels like!
13. Be blanket hoggers!
Was this part of our wedding vows? Because you sure do take this ritual seriously! PS: I signed up for no such thing!
