In no way are we daft enough to not know the struggles faced by plus-sized women, in any and every aspect of their lives. It ranges across spheres of day-to-day routine and creeps up their spines like a poor chill; rendering them equally bashful, feeling somewhat inadequate and under confident. One could easily chalk it up to mere nerves but we know better than that.
Plus-sized women have always gotten the shorter end of the bargain when it comes to society. Even as a community, we have yet to be able to fully digest the notion of confident plus-sized women existing without a care in the world. We are still not very adept with the notion of a curvy woman out and about without carrying the weight of expectations on their shoulders.
But as a big girl myself, I ask this question often and for all the right reasons: why are plus-sized women afraid of taking up space? For as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid to take up space and this only increases when I’m in public spaces where people can see my body. It feels like every eye is on me, in a way where everyone is dissecting my appearance to reprimand me for being the size I am. And this remains to be the case in all public spheres like metro, gym, office, college, even sometimes on my own vehicle.
When I am sharing my scooty with two of my skinnier friends, I always make sure to take up as less space as possible, ON MY OWN SCOOTY just to not cause any inconvenience to them. I take it for granted that it’s my body that is making it such a tight fit on the vehicle when in reality, a scooty IS NOT MEANT FOR 3 PEOPLE!
Do we feel this way to not cause inconvenience to others? But are we assuming that being on the curvier side automatically makes our body an inconvenience to be around? Or is it just what the people around us have projected on to our bodies? I wholeheartedly believe that it is the latter because simply existing in one’s body and size does not automatically make them a bother. It is only when the society builds an unreasonable expectation of female bodies does it become troubling.
I have found myself doing so to try to fit society’s perception, the “guidelines”, even of how a plus- sized woman should be. Always having to squeeze into the crowds, cowering to take up as less space as possible, cringing inwardly to make oneself invisible, plus- sized women have done it all simply to escape the society’s daunting glare. But these actions are because of other people’s fixation with just how a curvy- bodied woman should behave or even exist.
One reckons, it may also be to make oneself as invisible as a wallflower, so as to merge into our surroundings. When all our lives, we have been made to feel awful just to occupy the space our natural body needs, we develop aversions from public spaces because every eye seems to be portraying the very emotion. But why do we need to camouflage ourselves to fit the mold set for us by people we don’t even know? For far too long have we been made to conceal ourselves to escape the public eye and not stick out of the “normal”.
Some might argue that we do it to appear slightly put together in a way where do not want to give people any more reasons to judge us on our outwardly appearance. We make ourselves look like we are no damsel in distress who needs saving because we have been conditioned into believing that our prince charming will never arrive until we lose some inches.
On a personal note, as soon as I step foot into the gym, I try to make myself look as put together as possible, be it concealing my curves or simply to not ask for help even when I’m in dire need of it. And all this effort just to appear as if I got my sh*t together. I’ve been trying to actively stop myself from doing so, reminding over and over again that my body type does not automatically make me helpless but also asking for help won’t make people judge me (anymore than they normally do).
This is an address to all my curvy bodied queens, take up as much space as you want, because what is the need to stick to the sidelines when you were born to stand out?
