13 Things I Said During Phone Sex Vs What I *Actually* Meant!

My boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for almost one and a half years. Now the thing about LDRs is that no matter what they tell you, there will always be those crazy pangs of desperation when all you want is to feel your partner’s arms around you. One such hopeless night, the two of us decided to give phone sex a shot. Although we put up a brave face and got through with the whole process, I have to say, phone sex is just…what is it even?

Here is what I said during phone sex and what I actually meant (and I have a feeling my boyfriend would be on the same page as me!)

1. What I said: I’m totally ready for this, babe!

What I meant: I’m totally winging this beginning to end, I hope you know that!

2. What I said: Do you want to know what I am wearing?

What I meant: Honestly, that’s just how they start it in the movies, right?

3. What I said: I’m wearing that sexy red and lacy thong right now!

What I meant: Who are we kidding? It’s a Saturday night and I am in my PJs. Don’t even know where that thong is now but you liked it when I last wore it so, yeah!

4. What I said: What you said was just SO hot!

What I meant: I am trying really hard to make this imagination thing work!

5. What I said: If only you were here to take a HOT shower with me right now!

What I meant: We both hate shower sex IRL but in our minds, it seems sexy, right?

6. What I said: I just want to kiss your juicy lips right now!

What I meant: Juicy was in the hot words list I Googled. But I do want to kiss you nevertheless.

7. What I said: This is super exciting, right?

What I meant: Please tell me you have some clue as to what we’re doing?!

8. What I said: I am getting out of that thong now!

What I meant: Legit my last attempt at saving whatever we’re trying to do here.

9. What I said: Oh yeah, I am touching myself now…

What I meant: Sex was never ever this awkward…

10. What I said: What do you want to do to me right now?

What I meant: How long do we really have to do this?

11. What I said: Are you as into this as I am?

What I meant: Please, please say no!

12. What I said: *incoherent moaning*

What I meant: This is way faker than faking orgasms!

13. What I said: That was fun, baby!

What I meant: I absolutely hate long-distance! Can we not do this again?

GIFs: Giphy