Emotional abuse is a rarely touched upon topic. It is something none of us openly talk about or acknowledge because, caught in our own minds, we often confuse our feelings for overreaction or irrationality. But what is emotional abuse? It is defined as "Any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth." Now read it again. As women, we often confuse sacrifice for selflessness. You are your own person and no one has the right to toy with your self-worth.
This isn't exclusive to a particular relationship, it could be your best friend, a sibling, a parent or your partner. You need to recognize emotional abuse and get it out of your life, and here are some ways to know if you are a victim. So while we get a little too honest with you, you should be honest with yourself too while reading this!
1. They Intentionally Upset You
I don't mean 'talking' to people who you don't like but actually make an effort and go out of their way to say things that are hurtful. They will make statements that are blatantly insensitive and bring back things that were long forgotten and forgiven, or discussed in confidence.
2. You're Constantly Monitored
They are dominating and constantly monitor your every move. Taking away your sense of freedom, they check your phone and make sure they are your one point of contact with the world.
3. Your Opinion Isn't Heard
You find yourself trying to have a say in the decisions related to you but you find that they like making the plans for the both of you. It may seem caring at first but what it actually means is that they believe your opinions don't matter or are invalid.
4. They Put You Down In Front Of People
It isn't sarcasm when they make it seem like you deserve to feel like crap. Pardon my language, but I think we've all been there. You are a good human being, and being treated as anything less than that isn't fair or acceptable.
5. They Try To Control Your Finances
Your money is 'our' money and not in a romantic way. They take a call on your finances and constantly try to 'teach' you how to spend your money. Advice is one thing but you aren't obligated to give in to their demands.
6. Scattered Affection
They will never shower you with honest affection but if they think they've hurt you too deeply, a gift here and there will be used to buy back your love. All because, of course, they couldn't bear the thought of losing you.
7. Your Flaws Are Regularly Pointed Out
A person who tells you that you aren't enough and engraves it into your brain doesn't deserve to be a part of your life. If they can't be your hype person, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
8. They Threaten You
It starts off small, with funny blackmails and creeps into serious accusations that you find hard to deal with. Nobody can threaten you into doing anything for them, and yes, 'if you love me' is a threat and not a request.
9. Constant Chaos
There is no dull moment when this person is around, and no you aren't dying of laughter, instead, you are burdened with uncalled for drama. If a person is draining the happiness out of you, run!
10. Manipulating Your Mind
This one is pretty simple, everything ends up going their way and you find yourself on the ground. Stand up for yourself and walk away girl, you deserve so much better.