We all think about how sex would be for the first time. And we have these fantasies that our first time would be under a starlit sky on a blanket of love and hope. Where the guy makes the first move, and we are an embodiment of ‘coy loveliness’! Because, of course, we’ve been fed that through all the romance novels, movies and generally, society at large.
I was dating Abhishek for seven months and for the most part, I played along with what the society told me. So, I waited for him to hold my hand first. I waited for him to kiss me first. I waited for him to first slip his hand under my t-shirt. But did I want that? No. What I wanted was to grab him by the collar of his polo t-shirt, kiss him with my tongue in his mouth, place his hands on my breast, pin him against the wall and well, let things go with the flow after that.
But no. I was a good girl. I wasn’t going to say the ‘S’ word before the gentleman in him told me he loved me and wanted to display that love in bed as well. Only, he never did.
His parents were working so we’d be at his place all alone a lot of times. And we would kiss and make out but he never once asked me if I wanted to go all the way.
My friends told me he probably needed a little push so I should subtly let him know that I am interested too. Just subtly, mind you. Not directly, never. So, I did that. That Friday when I was at his place, I wore a short skirt hoping my bare legs will motivate him. I wore a lacey bra underneath my shirt, hoping he would notice. But nothing happened. I mean, he told me I looked great. He kissed and hugged and then settled beside me to watch a movie.
We were almost halfway through the movie, holding hands, when I felt my patience running thin. What was up with him? We had the house to ourselves and all he cared about was watching the damn movie! All the bullshit advice I had received over the past couple of weeks started to annoy me even more and before I could convince myself not to, I turned to him and said, “How come you don’t want to have sex?”
“What?” he asked
“Sex, we have been doing this for weeks now. Why don’t you want to have sex with me?”
“Well, I don’t know, I thought it would be nice to go slow.”
“How slow exactly?”
“I don’t know, man. I haven’t thought about this. I don’t want to hurt you or end up being hurt. Why do we need to have sex?”
My heart broke a little. Mainly because I was getting angry at him when he just wanted more time. It’s funny how we all wave the banner of equality but when a man doesn’t want to have sex when a woman doesn’t, it is suddenly a big deal.
I moved closer and planted a kiss on his forehead. “We’ll wait.” I told him “But promise me, when you want to have sex, you’ll just say it. No more games.”
We had sex three weeks later, and when we lay in bed after, he told me that it was I who had convinced him to go all the way, simply because I understood that he wanted to wait. And that was enough for him.
Even though my OOTD didn’t work out well for me, if you feel like giving it a shot, here’s what I wore!
This Petite Skirt
How cute is this little pink baby?
Get, set, sexy!