So here’s the thing. You might think you know someone very well as a friend but when you’re in a relationship with the same person, you see a whole new side to their personality. We were best friends for two years before we decided to get together. Maybe that’s why I thought it was a great idea! Clearly, I was wrong.
He loved surprising me! He’d travel miles just to see me for a few hours and then we’d go back to not meeting each other for three months. Isn’t that what being in a long distance relationship is all about? Once, he came to visit me in Bombay all the way from Calcutta and I had no idea he was coming till the day he actually arrived! I was ecstatic, of course, but then I wondered why he’d come right before my final semester exams? There was a music festival taking place a few hours from the city, and he was really keen on attending it… with me! I had severe attendance issues in college and there was no chance my parents would allow me to take a trip in the middle of this chaos. But he won’t budge. Apparently, he’d already bought the passes for the festival and wouldn’t take no for an answer (obviously, his inflated ego didn’t know the word ‘no’). So I gave in to the pressure and lied to my parents, forged my father’s signatures to sneak out of the hostel and spent my allowances to take a trip with a man who didn’t care enough about my academics.
He was a filmmaker by profession and I was quite interested in the same. So one of the reasons we went for the trip was to take footage and make a film around the fest! I was quite excited and before I knew, we’d reached the venue. It was going well till I started getting calls from home. It was late in the night and for obvious reasons, I couldn’t take my parents’ call. The venue was quite loud and they’d know I’m up to something. Naturally, they got really worried and tried contacting my hostel warden to ask where I was. She told them that I was on a night out and won’t be back before two days. Luckily, my mother had my back and pretended to know about it and said that it had slipped her mind. Meanwhile, we both were busy with our cameras, taking videos and trying to get good shots. But he would keep disturbing me every time I was trying to capture something. He’d come and hug me from behind or just give me a kiss. I know, it seems like he must really love me, right? That’s what even I thought. But when you love someone, you let them be when they’re working. And for us, filmmaking was work.
The next day I got a call from my mother and since we were on our way back, it was safe to take her call. As soon as I answered the phone, she said, “I know where you are. So just tell me when you’ll be back and we’ll talk then.” I freaked out! That’s not something I was prepared for. I told my boyfriend about it and we started talking about how we can deal with the situation. I called my mother as soon as I reached Bombay and she was quite calm. She told me that she knows I’m not the kind of person to lie or not prioritize my academics, and told me that maybe I should rethink this relationship. I instantly teared up and told my boyfriend that I’m feeling terrible about what I did. To which his response was, “They’re overreacting. It really isn’t that big a deal”. That’s when I saw through him.
This man had zero empathy and rarely ever looked out for someone other than himself. All along, it was all about him. What he wants, where he wants to go and what he wants this relationship to be like. All our fights, arguments and experiences suddenly started to make sense. A healthy relationship demands respect and mine clearly lacked it.
Two days after we returned from what was the worst trip of my life, we broke up. He still calls me and blames me for ending something that was ‘meant to be’. Some people never change!
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