There is absolutely no dearth of people giving us relationship advice. To add to the reservoir of wisdom, the internet has a tsunami of sermons giving us the so-called rules of relationships. Every relationship is different and hence can’t and shouldn’t be generalized. Every couple should make their own rules and ditch the “ideal” ones if they do not fit into their scheme of things. Here are a few rules which are completely fine to ignore!
1. Keep a tab on your partner at all times!
If you need to put a GPS tracker on your partner or vice versa, then you should probably rethink your relationship. Yes, it is all right to occasionally ask for each other’s whereabouts or who they are hanging out with, but you shouldn’t be tracking each other hour by hour, at all!
2. Play hard to please!
If you’re playing hard to please, it does NOT make him value you more. For all you know, it may make him feel disappointed that you are not in a happy place in the relationship. Be genuine. Learn to appreciate each other for the smaller but important things in life.
3. Adjustment is a must at every step!
There is a thin line between adjustment and compromise, and as soon as it starts annoying you, it’s turning into a compromise. This usually happens when one person in the relationship is making all the adjustments. If these adjustments are hurting you, stifling your goals, dreams or the person you really are, you should probably stop.
Not everything has a quick fix. Sometimes you need to leave things the way they are, sleep on it and then resolve them. But a few things are just not significant enough to be argued on, and it’s best to forgive and forget.
5. You don’t need to discuss your past with your partner.
You don’t have to talk about each other’s past every day, but it is important that you share it. No, you don’t need to delve in the details. Just be open about the things that really matter. The same goes for him too. Hidden secrets seldom make for pleasant surprises in the future.
6. You should share absolutely EVERYTHING with your partner.
You have a life and so does he. It’s okay to not know every single thing about your partner, and neither you should feel obliged to tell him everything that goes on with you. Chances are, you will most certainly share the things that matter and be honest with each other too. So there is no need to feel guilty about not telling him about the shopping trip you took with your bestie, or getting hot and bothered about the guys night out he didn’t tell you about.
7. As a chivalrous gent, he should always be the one to pay.
You are a strong independent woman, and there is no reason you cannot pay. Alternate your bills or just go dutch. There is no harm in doing so, and is the sensible thing to do.
8. Your relationship should come first, come what may!
No doubt, your relationship is important, and sometimes you may have to make a choice between him and your dream job. Do what feels right in your heart. Neither of you should feel obliged to ignore other things/ people in life just because you are in a relationship.
9. It’s okay to be possessive and/ or jealous because it’s a sign of love.
If possessiveness and jealousy cross a limit, then no, they’re not a sign of love. They’re red flags of mistrust and lack of understanding. A little jealousy and possessiveness are adorable, sure. But if these emotions become the dominant ones in your relationship, take a step back and think it through.
10. Love is enough to sustain the relationship...
Life is not simple and hence this logic does not work. For love to sustain, you need understanding, and a shared interest in at least a few things in life. Sometimes, two people may be great individually, but they may not make a great pair. That’s not a bad thing, it just means you both probably do not sync at the same level, and need to be with different people. Not better, just different.
11. Everyone deserves a second chance...
It is for the two of you to decide whether you want to give each other a second chance. Just because everyone “deserves” it or because you “owe” it to him or he “owes” it to you, is not a good enough reason.