Dear Girls, Why You Don’t Need To *Choose* Between Love & Career
Smriti NotaniGuest Contributor
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It saddens us that this is such an oft asked question or frequently discussed topic. Why is this a predicament we girls have to face at all? Of course, we can have both! Don’t even for a second think that that’s not a possibility, love. You can have everything you want – and more. And this is why!
1. We are lucky to be born in these times.
How blessed are we to be born in a nation that has seen women at the helm of affairs, no matter which field? We have great role models to look up to and for that we should consider ourselves extremely fortunate.
2. You are every bit as equipped as the opposite sex.
When you went to school, you weren’t given grace marks for being a girl, right? Well, that’s precisely how life works too. You can have a career and a well rounded life too, but excelling at it is up to you. And just like school, you ought to hope that you score really well – gender notwithstanding.
3. No one asks guys to pick.
This is the sad reality of our times. People think it to be completely normal to ask a woman this question, but no one will even think of asking a man this. You can sit and rue this fact, or take action and do something about it. Because the real questions is, "Why not?"
4. The generations before us didn’t have as many options.
We often find our grandmothers and mothers planting these thoughts in our heads, that at some point you will have to choose between a career and a family. But the times have changed a lot recently and many of the older generations haven't been able to catch up. The truth is, they didn’t have options like we do - and they might not understand it. Doesn't mean you can't show them the new way!
Having a well rounded life takes superhuman levels of productivity. Things won’t just magically fall into place; life is (unfortunately) not a Disney movie. It will take a certain level of dedication and hustle. But take it from us; it’ll be so darn worth it!
6. Support for your career will only make the love deeper.
If you fall in love with the right kind of guy, he ought to support your every dream. He ought to encourage your ambition and appreciate your independence. Trust us - love is only worth it if it’s with someone who doesn’t try to change you or "tame" you. And one you have his unconditional support - there isn't a mountain you can't climb.
Just like your man, we hope you exercise choice on the career front too. If you treat your job as just something that helps you pass time and earn a few bucks here and there – you may find yourself giving it up after a while. You need to have your own best interests in mind. Think of it as more than just a job; think of your career and plan for the long term. If you love what you do, all the hard work will seem so worth it.
8. Proving the naysayers wrong.
A lot of girls argue that eventually they will fall in love, get married, and have kids someday – so why even bother with the "career" thing? Well, we totally find it super important and necessary that women are empowered and financially independent in today’s day and age. And we’ve been fortunate to see some great success stories around us of women who (after marriage and kids) seem to have it all. What we’ve learnt from them is a great deal of diligence and resilience. What we’ve not learnt from them is the idea of giving up. We live in modern times; we have the help of family, maids, nannies, and crèches. We live in the time of work-from-home days. We live in the time of remote offices. If you really don’t want to give up your career, you don’t have to. Yes, even with children. Some of the most successful women we happen to know have paved the way for us in terms of well-rounded, successful lives and we couldn’t be happier to watch, observe, and follow suit. How would their struggle be worth it, if a generation like ours gave it all up because we thought we had to?
So can you have both a career and a love life? The question isn’t who’s going to let you; it’s who’s going to stop you. ;-)