How To Deal With The “What If He Breaks Up With Me?” Feeling
Manika ParasherCopy Editor, POPxo
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We all have our rainbow days and our not-so-much-sunshine days in a relationship - don’t we, ladies? And on those not-so-awesome days, sometimes our brain goes into overdrive and crazy thoughts like “What if he breaks up with me?”, “What if he is cheating on me?”, “What if he stops loving me?” keep running through our minds. Here is how to deal with that feeling in 5 simple steps!
Step 1: Ask yourself “Why?”
Ask yourself why are you feeling that way? Are there specific reasons for it? Or did you just cook it up in your head?
Step 2: Write down the possible reasons
Every single one of them. Now traverse the list one by one. Here are a few things that may be on your list and how to address them.
His ex(es): If he is still friends with them and it bothers you, talk to him about it. If not, then should you really be worrying about something/ someone that is way back in his past? Definitely not. Strike it off the list.
He is not giving you enough attention: If he is not calling you enough, or not responding to your texts, is it because he has a different/ hectic work schedule? When he is at work or even out with his friends, understand that he is not ignoring you, he is simply in another place and there is no point in being half-heartedly present at both places. If he calls you back at the end of the day, it’s all good and you can strike this one off too.
He does not share passwords for his social media accounts with you: Girls, do not do this please. Being in a relationship does not mean that you no longer have any personal life or do not deserve any privacy. And this goes for both of you. This should never ever be the reason for you to feel insecure. So strike this one off right now!
He has way too many female friends: Both of you should be able to befriend anyone you want without being mindful of their gender. If a guy has a lot of female friends, it does not mean he is cheating on you or is planning to break up with you. Unless he has done something that is unacceptable or has overstepped the line in any way, strike it off the list.
His bestie is a girl and they are very close: To be honest, this one may sound like a tricky one, but hey, if they have been besties for long, don’t you think they would have been together if they liked each other? Also, unless he spends WAY too much time with her every single day, so much so you feel ignored, or he gets somewhat touchy feely with her, strike this one off the list.
You are in a long distance relationship: You pretty much cannot help feeling a little bit insecure at times when you are in a long distance relationship. If he calls you enough to make you feel loved, shares his life with you, the little things, then, ladies, don’t worry too much about it. Long distance is the best test of a relationship.
If the list is empty, then you are just thinking too much and probably complicating the situation in your head. However, if you do have anything left on your list that you did not strike off, that means now you know why exactly you are feeling the way you are.
Step 4: Talk to him about it
You love him, and we are sure he loves you. Talk to him about what is bothering you. If he is the right guy for you, he will hear you out and reason with you without getting defensive or angry about it. Most likely, this conversation will help you mellow down, if not curb your feelings pf insecurity altogether. This will also help him understand what bothers you and he can then do whatever he can from his end to help you feel happier.
Chances are that you have been worrying yourself about this for quite some time. Take a break, meet up with your friends and relax. Even if you are not a very outgoing person, step out of your usual environment, it will clear your head.