If you thought you were the only one goofing up relationships, there’s some halfway decent news for you. You’re not alone! As a generation, we seem to be getting certain things wrong over and over again. Let’s read, absorb, learn, and correct? I'm sure we can do this together!
1. We lay too much importance on what others think.
This is a major problem our generation faces – because social media was never as big before. Today, we are on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and so many other social media platforms. Many of us seek constant validation from these external sources. This can create havoc in our personal lives. We need to remember to disengage from social media and evaluate what we feel about our own relationships first.
2. We are supremely short sighted.
Ask anyone who’s been in a long term relationship and they will tell you that the key is to always think of the bigger picture. Don’t get so involved in a petty fight that you can’t even see why you are with your significant other. The little stuff goes on, but if you’ve got someone who you love and who truly loves you back – think long term and hold on to them.
3. We are spoiled for choice.
Yeah, yeah, we know; if not the Iced Vanilla Latte at Starbucks, you’ll go in for the Java Chip. But learn to separate your coffee from your relationships, yo. Your dream drink might change often, but your dream man shouldn’t. If you’re in a happy, healthy relationship, don’t just toss it away because they introduced something new on the menu. Catch our drift?
4. We experience FOMO at the drop of a hat.
Our generation lives in a constant Fear Of Missing Out (better known as FOMO). We sometimes look at relationships as a big, fat hurdle coming in the way of all the things (and people) we could be doing. We need to stop this, right now! Your relationship is not some event or party; it’s a shared connection with someone special, that you need to hold on to and cherish.
5. We have this weird notion that it should be really easy.
Who ever said relationships are easy? No, really? They are hard work and require your full attention. The joys are interspersed with the sorrows and that’s how it always is. Are you supposed to have fun along the way – YES! But that doesn’t take away from the fact that sometimes you have to work at it too.
We know you’ve heard this a gazillion times before but we think it’s imperative to remind you of it right now: don’t judge your own behind the scenes by watching someone else’s highlight reel. Social media doesn’t allow us to watch what happens in real life. Just because you can’t see the arguments, disagreements, tough moments, or compromises – doesn’t mean they don’t exist. So to give it to you plain and simple; everyone doesn’t have it easy.
7. We don’t allocate our time well.
When was the last time you went for a simple walk with your main man? It’s tempting to keep “hanging out” and checking out new bars and restaurants, etc. But we tend to forget to engage and have real conversations about real things that matter. Spend some time with the man in your life without your phones and that itself will be a huge step towards a happy relationship.
Yeah, it’s really okay if he doesn’t own a pair of Adidas high tops or has never tasted a tequila shot in his life. Try not to judge before you even get to know someone properly. Invest your time and energy in getting to know who they really are, really well. Besides, you might want to make better (or deeper) checklists if you must use them anyway. Is he kind? Is he a good listener? Does he make you laugh? Something to think about, really!
9. We don’t love ourselves enough!
Have you heard of this saying? "You can’t pour from an empty cup." This means you have to love yourself first if you want to love the people in your life. For the ridiculous amount of selfies we take, we actually tend to love what we see in the mirror much less. Love yourself; take time to do what makes you happy. And know that you deserve that loving relationship, babe. Do everything in your power to hold on to love and enjoy its presence in your life.