If there’s a man lucky enough to be getting into your pants, and you’re new at what goes where, here are some pointers to turn you into a sexpert in no time!
1. Practise! Practise! Practise!
As with everything else, in order to be good at sex, you need to do it as many times as possible. Seriously, 10,000 hour rule, anyone?
2. Good Humour
If one or both of you are hitting the sack for the first time, know that sex is clumsy to start with. There will be body part adjustments, stomach grumbles and burps and at times even gas.
There may be tension when you try new things for the first time and are establishing boundaries. If you do whatever you’re comfortable with, there will be nothing to regret later.
4. Lube It Up!
This sticky business can help you go at it for a while, turning sex into a good workout. And when you feel the endorphins in your body, you’ll be thankful you’ve got some. Make sure they’re water-based or the kind appropriate for the type of protection you’re using.
5. Got A Headache?
There will be a time when you don’t feel like having sex. Which is perfectly fine. Just remember to be clear and open with your partner.
6. Stress Test
There’s a saying – if you’re too stressed to have sex, then you probably need it more. Think of taking a tub bath or getting a massage… this is equally good to turn your day around and keep it that way.
7. Know Thyself
Take time to explore your own body. If you don't know what works for you, how will you tell your partner?
8. Be Prepared
Make friends with a doctor! It's always good to have reliable advice a phone call away, and being safe is your responsibility: female condoms, birth control, and so on. Do your research to have anxiety-free and healthy sex.
9. Lights! Incense! Action!
Setting the mood in a correct way instantly turns a room into your own boudoir. Dim the lights, add a candle or two, light some incense - and you'll be transported to an atmosphere of sensuality.
The key to great sex is relaxing your body. Let go of your worries by meditating before sex or just writing it away.
11. Expect The Unexpected
There is no such thing as movie-style sex. There is a LOT of hair pulling, saliva/ lube drying out and interruptions and restarts. It's all part of the fun.
12. Fifty Shades Of Whaaaa?
Find the line between comfortable and challenging - handcuffs, whips, blindfolds or vibrators. Always grow in life.
13. Do NOT Watch Porn
Watch holistic, erotic or vintage porn, as the sex online is simply f***ing and not good for the body or soul! You're better off with chicken soup. Not to mention, things you see in these movies are not that perfect in real life.
14. Sensuality, Not Sexuality
Let go off the guilt associated with sex. It's hard in our culture, but it is possible. Enjoy each other's bodies and learn to use them well.
15. Be Desirable To Be Desired
Watch videos, read and learn to be good in bed for the future/ future partners. Stay on top of your game, make sure you feel attractive both outside the bedroom and under the covers. Onwards and upwards, which is what it's all about anyway! *Wink wink*