Oral sex. That thing that is on our minds a lot - or sometimes definitely on our guys’ minds. There are a variety of names given to performing and receiving this sexual act - the most common being “blow job” (a “job” performed “below” - that’s where this specific one comes from), and the formal terms being “fellatio” (when a man receives it) and “cunnilingus” (when a woman receives it). But the confusion doesn’t end there. If you feel like you are ready for this, or are even actively engaging in it, there are some oral sex questions that you should DEFINITELY know the answers to. Whether you choose to do it or not is entirely up to you (and your partner) - but read this first to make a better informed decision!
1. Does oral sex count as sex?
Yes, it does! No, it's not intercourse, but it does involve exchange of bodily fluids and satisfaction (one hopes!) - so, yes.
2. Am I still a virgin if I engage in oral sex?
Technically speaking, you're a virgin until you have intercourse for the first time.
3. Can I get pregnant if I have oral sex?
No, you cannot get pregnant via giving or receiving oral sex alone! This is because sperm must get into the vagina — and eventually up through the cervix and into the uterus. Even if you were to swallow, it would only end up in your digestive tract, not your reproductive one!
4. Can you catch an STD from oral sex?
Yes, you most definitely can. Most STDs are spread via the absorption of bodily fluids from someone else through absorption by tissue, including the mouth. The most commonly spread STD via oral sex is herpes.
5. What is the most sensitive part of the penis?
All though everyone’s body is different, the most sensitive part of the penis is usually the frenulum - it is found on the underside of the penis, just behind the head.
6. Is it possible to practice safe oral sex?
Yes. You can ask your guy to wear a condom - hey, that’s why they have flavoured ones, after all!
7. What does “spit” or “swallow” mean?
This refers to the fluids that are released when people climax. Usually, this refers to the man’s semen, and whether or not his partner wishes to, uh, spit it out or swallow.
8. Is it safe to swallow?
This is an entirely personal choice; however, there are no known risks - apart from the regular concerns about STDs. It’s best to know that your partner has been tested for STDs and has a clean bill of health.
9. What happens if he needs to pee?
Physiology prevents men from being able to pee while having an orgasm! So no worries. BUT, for your peace mind, just ask him to use the facilities beforehand (and clean up!).
10. What is the best way to make sure genitals are clean?
It’s simple really - a mild cleanser and water! There’s a delicate pH balance down there and using a variety of different products might change it - so stick to the basics! Applies to both him and you. You can also use a gentle feminine hygiene cleanser like VWash for additional protection against infections when you’re at the receiving end of it.
11. How can I make sure I smell good down there ?
If you are feeling hesitant, it’s best to try this out soon after you or your partner has had a shower! That way you know everything will be squeaky clean! Why not even suggest a shower together with your partner and make it part of foreplay?! This article has some pretty good tips too!
12. Is it bad to go from oral sex to vaginal sex in the same session?
The only risk is if you or your partner have any STDs. Then you risk catching it both orally and vaginally. But if both are clean then there is no risk.
13. What are you meant to do with your hands?
Well, again - this is entirely up to you. But if you are lost and wondering what to do when giving your partner a blow job: then you can try to use your hands in conjunction with your mouth to stroke and add to the sensory pleasure. Whilst receiving, all you need to do is let go, relax and enjoy it - you could put your hands on his head and use them to encourage and reassure him that you are enjoying it!
14. How can I let my partner know I want to give/ receive oral sex?
As with all aspects of a relationship: communication is key! Bring up the topic the next time you two are thinking of getting hot and heavy, and just talk to him about it and see what he has to say.
15. What if my partner wants it but I don’t?
Think about it, and gently explain your position to him. It’s not a crime - it’s a choice you’re making. He’ll simply have to deal with it!
16. How long should it last?
How long is a piece of string? This question doesn’t have a definitive answer. You can make it last as long as you are both enjoying it, or until you or your partner have an orgasm…it’s entirely up to you!
17. What happens if my mouth cramps up?
Don’t worry if this happens, it’s completely normal - especially if you are not used to the act. Just take a moment and relax your jaw. If it is something you face often you could focus more on licking - this way it would create less stress on your jaw.
18. What about my teeth?
Keep them off him! No, no - no matter what the magazines say, he does NOT want you to bite. Please, please ask him about it first if you want to try anything daring. A scraping action with your teeth is pleasurable for some men, terrible for others. Practice covering the edge of your teeth with your lips.
19. What does 69 mean?
69 is commonly used to refer to an act that couples can engage in where both partners give and recieve oral sex at the same time. Think about the shape of the number 69 - you get the picture!
20. What should I do if he offers to go down on me?
If you’re interested, just relax and enjoy it! Else take a rain-check. :-)
21. How do I know if I am doing it right?
Ask him for feedback - he’ll tell you for sure. And don’t hesitate to tell him what you like (or don’t) if he asks you the same question. It’s all about getting better at it! ;-)
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Published on Aug 17, 2015