Let’s face it: our bulls**t radar blips at least six times in a day. The sheer number of times we are handed excuses and justifications for work not getting done is just mind-boggling. And while we know that the luxury of being able to hire someone to do our chores or even being able to afford paying for stuff makes us a privileged lot, we are, very frequently, left wringing our hands in despair when instead of thinking “Oh good, that’s done, then!” we have to go “WTF?!”
The good news is that young start-ups like GetMyPeon are helping us hire professional, background-checked helpers who can run errands for us, on an ad-hoc basis. Seriously, why didn’t anyone think of this sooner?
In the meantime, you can tell us which often-heard excuse gets your goat. Here’s a bunch of WTF things that people say that tops our list of super-duper pet peeves.
1. “My aunt died!”
How many aunts do you have?! This is the third one this year!
2. “Madam, chhutta nahin hai!”
Grrrrr! The driver of every rickshaw you ever hail is cosmically compelled to never have any change whatsoever. What are we supposed to do? Carry a bagful of coins day after day?
3. “No, can’t go there…”
Yep, your fault totally that you aren’t going the way that the taxi wants to go. Seriously, who told you go from Colaba to Churchgate? Don’t you know you should be going to someplace like Bandra, Malad, Borivali instead, like the cab wants to?
4. “The train was late, aaj bhi“
Yeah, we know our public transport system is flawed, and trains often run late, but surely not EVERY DAY? Because, you know, that would mean that nobody would get anywhere, ever. How come the GetMyPeon chaps always manage to show up on time without ever citing public transport issues as an excuse?
5. “Please, I need a loan again…”
When it’s the seventh time you are asked for a loan by the same person, chances are it’s not for his daughter’s schooling any longer.
6. “Madam, a little extra please, bouni ka time hai“
Seriously, at 7 p.m.? Nobody bought any veggies before I got here?
7. “No baksheesh today?”
Okay, we’re happy to tip if it’s Diwali or Holi or Eid or Christmas or a shaadi in the family, but every day? Just randomly? That really is NOT on.
8. “Here, this is the taxi bill…”
… For someone carting a 10-gram document from Borivali to Bandra. WTH?! Thank God for the super-efficient chaps at GetMyPeon, who won’t bill you for a taxi unless your parcel weighs more than 5 kgs. That’s fair – and makes total sense!
9. “Mehengai badh gai hai…market ek dum tight hai”
The “chance pe dance” excuse that EVERYONE uses to end a negotiation. If only we could cite inflation to our bosses and get ourselves a raise every few weeks…
10. “Kya karega, Madam, traffic!“
At half past midnight!! And so you get your birthday flowers after your birthday has ended, just when you were falling asleep. Use the GetMyPeon services – we can vouch for the fact that their deliveries are timely – and you’ll get your stuff delivered at the time committed to you.
11. “Tabiyat theek nahin hai”
When it’s quite evident that the “illness” is a hangover. What we wouldn’t give for a little professionalism!
12. “Acchhe din aane wale hai”
The Modi Sarkar punchline is now being used (and abused) by everyone, for everything, and everywhere, including silly WhatsApp jokes. Seriously, we got the message, now stop!
* This is a sponsored post for GetMyPeon. View a list of their services here.
