Getting married to someone is a very tough decision. You have to be both mentally and physically prepared once you decide that you want to get married. Especially if you’re going for an arranged marriage, you have to think a lot before taking the leap of faith. Arranged marriages are quite common in India, you must know many people who have had it. But do you ever wonder if the couple has
sex on the first night in an arranged marriage? Well, in case you’ve wondered, we found some answers for you from Quora! Here’s what people had to say about this
1. ‘Having sex on first night could only be great if it is consensual...’ - That’s true! Consent is very important!
Sonia Kapoor says…
Most arranged marriage couples that I have interacted with do not engage in
sex on the very first night. I guess this is more of a cultural shift of youth, although they might be pushed by their parents to get married. They take time to have sex.
Rightly so, as getting intimate with your partner is more of a process then a mere act. It starts with knowing each other, getting comfortable, caring, loving, feeling intimate, etc.
sex on the first night could only be great if it is consensual, but it could damage the relationship if it’s not agreed upon by both.
2. ‘I think it's a great way to start your sex life on the wedding night…’ - New life, new beginnings...
In my opinion marriage is not about sex, it's about love.
I think, those days are gone when brides used to see their husband for the first time on the wedding night. In my culture everyone gets a minimum of 3-4 months time between the engagement and the wedding. This much of time is sufficient to know each other. So, it is not that you don't know your husband/wife before the wedding night.
There is always a first time for sex. I think it's a great way to start your sex life on the wedding night and if you do that it becomes memorable.
3. ‘In some cases they don't even have sex on the first night as the wedding rituals are so tiresome…’ - Fair enough - things CAN get tiring!
Rashmi Ram says…
In an arrange marriage it's not necessary that you marry a stranger, only the medium to know the person is through relatives or family friends otherwise it’s not that different. A person has full freedom to say no. There is no pressure to get married to someone.The courtship period ranges from 3 months to 12 months which is enough to know a person. Mostly couples fall in love before the wedding and both eagerly look forward to their wedding first night sex. In some cases they don't even have sex on the first night as the wedding rituals are so tiresome.
4. ‘I had no condoms...’ - Okay, we can imagine how weird it would have been for the two of you!
We didn't have sex on the wedding night as the whole thing felt very awkward. I had no condoms. I had no experience in buying the condoms. I had hoped somebody (brother, brother-in-law, friend) would give the condoms to me. No one did. We were very tired. The wedding night was at my parents' home. All I was thinking was what the rest of my family would be assuming we’re having wedding night sex. It was all very awkward.
5. ‘Having sex on the first night is not mandatory...’ - Correct! You should just do what feels right!
Aishwarya Mishra says…
Having sex on the first night is not mandatory. Especially if both of the people are strangers, unless they share a common kinky fantasy.
I mean it's equally weird for both of the parties to just bang on to the bed.
They can sit and chat. Get to know each other. Build connection with each other and if both of them are ready then they can give sex a shot at wedding night sex
Okay, so did you find your answer or not?
You can read the full thread here on Quora.