I’m walking back home from the bus stop, the sun has set and the streets are getting deserted. I clutch my bag close to my bosom and keep my pepper spray in my hand. My parents have already called me up five times asking where I am, why I’m late from work and what time will I be back.
By now, my brisk walk has turned into me almost running home because I can see the men crossing by purposely brushing past me or the ones on the road, slowing down their vehicles to stare a little while longer. As I almost reach home, I’m stopped by a man on a motorcycle who says, “Paanch sau meh chalegi mere saath?”
That’s it, I sprint back home, shut the gate and heave a sigh of relief. I open my phone to check the time – it’s 9.08PM.
This isn’t just my story; this is a reality in this country.
But after reading this viral Twitter thread, it became clear that it’s not just a problem for us. Danielle Muscato’s tweets have resonated with women all over the world and it’s a truth we can’t hide from.
Ladies, a question for you:
“What would you do if all men had a 9pm curfew?”
Dudes: Read the replies and pay attention.#metoo #Kavanaugh #Cosby #feminism #maleprivilege #privilege
— Danielle Muscato (@DanielleMuscato) 25 September 2018
Most of the replies to the tweet were as you would expect: Women having the radical idea that they could roam around without constant internalised fear and anxiety. It just goes to show how rampant assault is, no matter where in the world you are.
Is this how men feel? One user replied on the thread and Danielle, who is a trans woman, agreed.
I’m a trans woman who came out 4 years ago.
Yes, it is.
— Danielle Muscato (@DanielleMuscato) 25 September 2018
The little things that matter.
A close friend of mine told me she would love to go string up a hammock in the park and look at the stars.
But she can’t.
That’s fucked up.
— Bucky with the Good Arm (@benjancewicz) 2 October 2018
Long, calm, solo nighttime walks. That would be amazing.
— Bronwyn Harris (@BronwynAnn) 25 September 2018
Take a walk without scanning the street, the dark corners, without my dog or keys as a point of immediate dissuasion toward potential assault.
— ElizabethCMcLaughlin (@ECMcLaughlin) 25 September 2018
Having drinks with girlfriends, being able to leave an establishment without fear of being followed by a man who felt I “encouraged him” by being in the same place at the same time.
— Tiffany Getch (@tiffany_getch) 25 September 2018
They are the real incidents.
These aren’t hypothetical situations I just worry about. These are actual things men have done to me after 9:00 PM.
— Boo! Ruin EveryScream (@YouRuinEveryPod) 25 September 2018
I would take out the garbage without bringing my dog and being vigilant of every person and car around me. Ok, I would bring my dog anyway, but just for the company
— Grace Savoy-Burke (@beecologist) 26 September 2018
Putting groceries in my car without first checking to make sure no one is lurking behind (or in) the cars parked next to me, and I’d do it without looking over my shoulder every time I place a bag into the trunk.
— Imogene Cancellare (@biologistimo) 26 September 2018
It made me tear up too.
on a deserted beach with my feet in the water. I would travel the world – think of all the places I could go if I weren’t worried about solo travel. The people I could meet, the experiences I could have… And I’d have no more arguments with well-meaning men about my safety. (2)
— Heather Busch (@heatherbroad) 3 October 2018
Men finally realised their privilege.
I’m a white guy who regularly visits other countries by himself, walking city streets after midnight while listening to music on my headphones while not speaking the language. Never even occurred to me that this was a gender privilege.
— Randall Stephens 🏳️🌈 (@DrBeagleman1) 26 September 2018
Wow, I feel horrible right now. None of this has ever occurred to me as an issue. I run, I go do whatever I want whenever I want.
Why aren’t women filled with uncontrollable rage all the time?
— Houston Wolf (@houstonwolf) 26 September 2018
I never realized I took feeling confident about my own safety for granted and was only dimly aware women might not always feel the same
— Neil Benson (@OrangePeel72) 3 October 2018
Everything starts with a conversation, to stand up and say this isn’t okay. The reality is that gender-based discrimination does exist and if we don’t accept it, we’ll never be able to move forward. We need to acknowledge that fact that women don’t have the same sense of security and freedom as men and we truly wish we lived in a more balanced world.
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