There was a time when I used to travel by the western line every day. Malad to Charni Road and back because my college was in South Bombay. The pushing, the shouting, the shoving, the pulling – I’ve been there, done that. Even though all of that happened a long time ago, the memory still remains fresh in my mind today. It’s embarrassing to admit that all those videos on Youtube where people are pushing each other to get into the train are actually true. In fact, millions of people use these trains daily in Mumbai. It’s their lifelines and one of the fastest ways to get around the city on a budget. I don’t know about your experience, but I can tell you my thoughts when I travelled in a Mumbai local that I’m sure anyone would agree with.
1. “Who cuts vegetables and peels fruits in a moving train?”
And then has the nerve to chuck the waste out the window. SHAME ON YOU GUYS!
2. “Is that person really taking a nap while standing?”
Well, hello there! Welcome to the Mumbai locals – where the impossible becomes possible!
3. “Why does the whole world live in Dadar?”
My muscles tense up whenever the next stop is Dadar station!
4. “OMG someone needs to buy a deodorant STAT”
And a razor too. Sorry, not sorry.
5. “Hmm? What would a person who has claustrophobia do when they’re travelling by the local during rush hour?”
On second thought, never mind.
6. “Wait?! Why did that person ask me where I’m getting down at?”
I was confused at first, but then I got to know she wanted my seat. Heck, that!
7. “How much more can I squeeze in? Do you know that most of these seats are designed to accommodate only 3 butts, right?”
Take your big peach somewhere else, woman!
8. “Does hanging at the train door count as a life skill?”
Just a moment, mentioning that on my resume.
9. “Why doesn’t anyone get out or in at Ram Mandir station?”
Honestly, why does it even exist?
10. “Without spending a rupee, I got a free body massage”
If you think women are fragile, I’d like you to board the 5:45-6 pm Andheri local in the evening. We’ll talk after *Wink*
11. “That Mean Girls cat fight scene is NOTHING compared to ones that happen on a Mumbai Local”
– Scratching, biting, pushing, name calling, hair-pulling – yeh hai asli entertainment!
12. “Hmm, why is this aunty peeping into my phone and reading my text messages along with me?”
– Where did that middlefinger emoji go now, hmm?
13. “Even if someone gave me a million dollars to board a Virar train during rush hours, I’d tell them to keep it with interest”
– There are indeed things that money can’t buy – like my PEACE of mind. Thank you.
14. “Thanks Bollywood, because of you, every chhapri at the station thinks it’s cool to start singing when a pretty girl walks by”
– Sachh bolo? Major turnoff hai yaar!
15. “Wow! My hair and makeup looks freakin’ amazing today!”
– Mumbai Local: Wait… Hold my beer – I got this!
Images: Giphy, Gfycat
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