Most of us are aware of the concept of honeymoons. It's simple, really! It's a vacation newlyweds take immediately after their wedding to spend some quality time with each other, away from responsibilities, social obligations and the constant observation of people. It's supposed to be the most romantic holiday of one's life, to be enjoyed thoroughly by the new husband and wife.
But Indians have some twisted ideas when it comes to newlyweds and honeymoons, especially some people from Gen X. That is probably the reason why this guy's parents thought that it was perfectly okay to propose to him that they would accompany him and his wife to their honeymoon. Just imagine the poor couple's dilemma! Although the solution to this issue seems pretty simple, all he had to do was talk to his parents clearly, the guy decided to seek some 'expert' help from Quora users. And while some of them gave him some pretty reasonable advice, some others just cracked us up! Read it for yourself:
"If you take them along it will be a family affair. But as you have mentioned you don't want to take them along. You will have to use tact, to get out of this situation. Making a point without making an enemy.
Take your wife into confidence and explain to her that your life has begun with an adventure, and this is the perfect time for her to team up with you and start your adventurous life together.
How to escape without physical or mental injury?
Try to find out which destination makes your parents uncomfortable. Adventure, Cold, Heat, Distance and duration of travel, or length of the journey. You can also choose places that you have been to, and they did not have a good experience at that place.
This is your base.
Tell them that you will choose the destination since it is your honeymoon.
Decide the place of honeymoon which is clearly not their idea of a holiday. They may hesitate. Grab the opportunity and make your travel plans immediately. Escape with their blessings.
(Suppose they plan to tag along to the destination too, that you have thought that they would refuse.)
In this case, you have to make an alibi.
Take into confidence one or two of your couple friends and explain the situation to them. Tell them that they are a part of a big drama.
Tell your parents that 2-3 couples are joining in, and all of you are going for the honeymoon together.
Since it is a couple group tell them that you will enjoy more with them, your friends would hesitate to have your parents tag along as their parents are not coming.
(Suppose your parents are obstinate enough to be firm and say that they would tag along with your friends too)
Contact your grandparents, uncles and aunts, and explain to them your situation.
Tell them to explain to your parents, why it is not good for your parents to come along on your honeymoon.
Contact such people whom your parents respect and cannot say no.
If nothing works take them along. The more the merrier.
In this case, you have to do damage control. Book rooms which are at two different corners of the hotel. Make the holiday a family holiday and extract a promise from your parents that soon you shall be going again for a rehoneymoon, and this time you will not take them along."
India is really a wonderful country! Just look at the amount of effort this user has put into answering a complete stranger's question!!! But the last bit of his advice really had us in splits! The more, the merrier, LOL!
"Its high time we change the way we look at things, tomorrow our children are going to be tactful and f**k around with us when they don't want us to be a part of something. Why can't we take situations head-on when it comes to family?
Instead of being tactful and dodging the bullet, we should be positive in what we want and do what seems right. We should share our thoughts about certain aspects without feeling we are going to hurt them.
It may sound dumb that I'm saying all this but these thoughts, of parents, coming for your honeymoon and you not being able to confront it, is a serious problem. Which has taken root long long time back, very difficult to change. Clearly you don't want them, but clearly, you love them, you respect them and care about them. But there has to be a line that needs to be drawn.
Your wife/husband and you are one separate entity. Keep it that way. Muster some courage to politely say NO and with the actual reason. This is WHAT will set a tone when you have a family."
Now, that's some sound advice!
"This is totally unacceptable and ridiculous. Either your parents are extremely innocent people or they just want to kabab mein haddi purposefully. Just tell them directly that you would like to spend the honeymoon only with your soulmate and no one else. Make them understand that in the next trip, you will take them along but not in the honeymoon. But make sure that you explain it to them lovingly, because they are your parents after all.
I think they will understand. If they don’t understand then you are really screwed, buddy. You are caught in the middle of your parents and your spouse for no fault of yours. It's a very delicate and complicated situation."
Ab jo hai, woh hai!
"My in-laws wanted to come. But my husband played diplomatically and said the tickets were already booked and are non-refundable. No Indian parents like wasting money, after all!
My colleague's in laws wanted the same. He said his entire week-long Kashmir trip was sponsored by his team mates. Nothing can be done.
You can use any of the above deviations.
I know how difficult it is sometimes to tell your parents. So better play diplomatic. In the first case though they will hold a grudge against you for sure. Dialogues like biwi badi ho gayi ab and humko bhool gaya might be thrown your way. But, the second case is a win-win situation. Your parents will love you for being so smart that it was done for free."
Two options, take your pick!
"Get to know why they want to join you in the first place? Is it because they would like to go on a family vacation together to get to know their new daughter-in-law? Or is it because this is the first holiday ever that they are going on with you as an adult? Or because it is the kind of trip they could never go on on their own? Or they just want your companionship?
If you don’t know, now is a good time to understand that - kindly and gently of course. Ask them what they are expecting out of the trip? You and your spouse will have an opportunity to establish a deeper connection with your parents through such a conversation.
Then tell them you and your partner would really like to go on this trip by yourselves. But how about the 4 of you plan a family vacation together? If they simply want to go to the same place that you’ve picked, help them plan it with their friends."
So mature, and I bet this will do the trick!
"Throw a tantrum. Act like a child. Demand to know why they did not take you for ‘their’ honeymoon!! If they didn’t do that, you will NOT too! That’s it. End of the matter."
*TTYL. Busy laughing*
So, what would you do if you were stuck in the same situation?