Race is on my mind...Race is in my soul...Race is in my life...
The original soundtrack of the popular movie, Race was playing on my mind before the movie even started. Perhaps because I saw the bubbly Jacqueline Fernandez in an action mode, posing alongside a car on Drive's promotional poster with a similar font as Race? You decide.
Drive is a Hindi action film written by Tarun Mansukhani and produced by Karan Johar's Dharma Productions. The movie skipped the silver screens and turned up straight on Netflix. Along with Jacqueline, the movie also features Sushant Singh Rajput, Vikramjeet Virk, and Sapna Pabbi in the lead. The story revolves around 'The King', a mysterious criminal, theft of a LOT of kala dhan and random street racing!
I spent my Sunday watching this movie and boy, I have a lot of thoughts about it!
So, the movie starts with a street race happening and...
1. Woah, are those 'fake' blue fumes coming out of the exhaust? And why are those girls hanging out of the car's windows - bhahar pollution dekha hai, didi?
2. There was an important conversation going on. What is happening here, are they partying now? Where are they? Why is that girl standing on that car? Is this a garage? Aisa garage khaha pe hota hai?
3. OKAY, this film already feels like a cheaper version of The Fast And The Furious!
4. Okay, another race is happening. Who are the drivers? Why aren't they showing their faces? Kahan pe hoti hain aisi races?
5. And the winner is...Tara aka Jacqueline Fernandez. Oh, she is entering in the most Bollywood way possible (read some leg show, some hair flips and high heels). Duh! BTW Itni oonchi heels mein car kaise chala li, behen?
6. *Wind starts to blow*...and is that a hair commercial, oh no wait, it's the movie.
7. Tara throws her money in the air as Champagne popping is for "aam log".
8. And everyone breaks into a victory song - how predictable. Jacky looks so hot, you guys!
9. Oooooh, cameras and security guards. Kuch toh hone wala hai!
10. Enter Vibha ji and a Mr. Singhania who are discussing about dollah dollah bills at the Rashtrapati Bhawan.
11. Hamid, WTF? Why are you hitting that poor cybersecurity guy? Wait, just to set an example. Someone call Human Resource person, please!
12. Ring ring, the PM wants to speak to Vibha ji. Sounds serious.
13. Robbery? Where? How? Now we're talking.
14. PM sends his trusted, Irfan aka Boman Irani, who is dead sure a robbery will take place at the Bhawan. How? Let Irfan tell y'all.
15. Flashback to the past, a cunning robber sets the alarms off deliberately (ohhhkay) at a jewellery store. He is confronted by another gang of robbers whom he singlehandedly defeats. Police? Aa rahi hai abhi.
16. Finally, the policemen arrive and they are pointing the gun at him. Haha, pakda gaya. Wait, they are on his side? Oh, he is 'The King'. LOL.
17. The King is so confident about his robberies that he leaves a card on the crime spot that gives a clue to the police about his next loot. Anyone else getting #DhoomVibes or is it just me?
18. The king is all set to rob here, at the Rashtrapati Bhavan and Vibha ji and Hamid are SHOOK.
19. Irfan doesn't sound legit, TBH. Could he be involved somehow? And the robbery is tied to the street racers, how convenient! Damn, Bollywood! Why so predictable?
20. Arjun? An undercover cop? Oh, he drives a modified Maruti Suzuki Dzire?
21. Arjun randomly becomes a part of the race, and now he's making donuts to impress Tara? Yeh kitne bekaar effects hai bhai.
22. Oh, Sushant Singh Rajput is Arjun. Not impressed, TBH.
23. Oh, his car's door open ulta? That's too much attention to random details in the film and zero attention to the effects.
24. He's already annoying me with his too-cool-for-school attitude. And what's that sly smirk on his face?
25. He challenges Tara's BFF 'Bikki' for a race and the winner takes home a whopping amount of 50 lakhs? Itna paisa padha hua hai toh bhai, why are you driving a swift?
26. Haha, Arjun gets the 'Nano' for the race. Bad luck! Remember these cars used to randomly catch fire? Just saying.
27. Arjun is winning in a Nano. Fuck. Where is logic, bhai?
28. Ek second. Arjun abhi toh aaya hai. Usko kaise pata ki race track kya hai? This was never discussed.
29. And just like that, Arjun now belongs to the gang.
30. Cybersecurity guy is now working with Irfan, Vibha ji and Hamid. He is keeping a tap on their phones.
31. Tara receives shayari on her phone and she's suddenly so tense. Ohh, it's a code.
32. While Hamid and Vibha ji are laughing on the shayari, Irfan cracks it as a code. He just seems to know everything? How?
33. Yay! code cracked. Now the police are chasing the thieves (Jackqueline, Vikramjeet, Sapna).
34. What is that fancy looking car? It's a Delhi police car? Come on now. You're just playing with me.
35. Wait guys, Arjun koi aur hai. We've been tricked.
36. Samar aka Sushant is the King (or is he?). Big YAWN. And he's back at it with his 'hum cool, tum fool' attitude and reveals...*drum rolls*...he reveals he is not the king. Hain?
37. Irfan is the King, meri baat maanlo dosto.
38. Samar is revealing his tricks but why are they randomly changing cars. Honestly, I wanted to 'Netflix & Chill' on a Sunday and not 'Netflix & Cuss'.
39. What is happening? They just walked into the Rashtrapati Bhavan like it was a Zara store.
40. Sushant is way too confident, and that sly smile is irritating the hell out of me. Honey, tone it down a little.
41. Enter Alisha Malik (not telling you who's playing this character), who is feeding ladoos to some random Kumar Sahab. Ho kya raha hai? Kumar Sahab says, "Bade wale unko bohot pasand hai." *Me: takes a deep breath*
42. Samar casually enters the kitchen in Rashtrapati Bhavan with three dabbas and drops them. Did rats just come out of those dabbas? So many of them?
43. I clearly remember that he was only carrying three dabbas. How can it have over a thousand rats? Reproduction under 30 seconds? Hmmm?
44. Why is everyone slapping the cybersecurity guy yaar? Oh my, Irfan slapped Raj. Kara kya hai bechare ne?
45. Okay, a wedding is happening now, no it's a wedding song. Gaane mein shaadi?
46. Samar: Let's discuss how to rob Vibha ji off her billions. Bikki: Honeymoon pe kahan jaye? Priorities all sorted.
47. Okay, now the plan for the big heist begins!
48. Cameras are frozen. That Shayari was a virus? Damn. Wait, hold up - they are just acting to be 'frozen'. Guys, mannequin challenge is so 2016!
49. Okay, the chorrs are inside the vault. Damn, Look. At. all. That. Money.
50. Mission: accomplished. Lights bhi chali gayi. The chorrs are now getting all glammed up...to get caught.
51. Vibhai Ji is not pleased as her kala dhan is now stolen. She is spilling secrets and Hamid is scared for his life. Oooh, cool twist.
52. Those red four supercars, racing - who was in charge of the graphics, seriously?
53. Airport bhi ghuss gaye. JLT? WTF girl, why are you even on the runway?
54. Did all four of them jump/fly off to another bridge? Okay, bye.
55. Oh, Sushant isn't The King. Then who is? Who is playing whom. Ho kya raha hai bhai?
Drive is rather a poor take to highlight street racing in India. The entire movie is a bad mixture of Race meets The Fast And The Furious meets Dhoom and fails to deliver. Although some of the twists are nerve-wracking but it's the entire climax that falls flat or should I say, comes crashing down.
I'll suggest NOT to waste your time on Drive and utilise your time somewhere else. I wonder what made Netflix pick this flick. Why Netflix, why?
Featured Image: Instagram