"When you marry someone, you marry their family." I belong to a typical Indian middle-class family and this was ingrained in me while I was growing up. It means you should think twice before you make any decision in your marriage. If you're angry about something, don't express your rage immediately. If you want to leave your husband, well, that choice isn't yours at all. The decision will be made by the families, the boy and, of course, the society. Basically, it means that, no matter what, you have to always be on your best behaviour.
Marriage happened to me when I was just 25 and, trust me, I don't follow any of these rules. I don't do all the household chores alone either, as my partner cooks and sometimes picks up our kid from school, helps her with the homework, etc. While both of us grew up with that typical belief, we understood that getting married was not the equivalent of saying yes to the patriarchy. If you're thinking, 'c'mon, it's 2019, who does,' take a look at this ad doing the rounds online.
And here I thought we were past that stage where marriages in India were deeply rooted in patriarchy and gender inequality.
This Hyderabad-based institute certainly believes in the age-old saying that domestic chores are solely a woman’s domain.
This institute claims to have the ultimate success mantra on how to lead a happy married life. According to them, a ''dulhan'' who wishes to "live a successful married life" can opt for this course, which will make you a pro at cooking, tailoring and sewing, home management (seriously?), beauty tips (probably to make sure your husband doesn't stray), finance/budget management (but only when it comes to running the house).
Located in Balreddy Nagar, this institute also offers ‘Pre-Marriage Training’ as well as 'Post-Marriage Training’ and a ‘Best Mother’ course, which involves giving parenting tips to moms. And the Dulhan Course claims that "ghar aur shadishuda zindagi ko kamyabi se guzarne ke liye" you must train yourself.
One reaction: UGH!
Can someone please ask the people running this institute why men don't need this course? Why shouldn't they be good at chores, cooking, and parenting? It's 2019, we have women creating history in all areas, and a lot of them are also moms and wives. So why are they alone responsible of making sure their marriage is happy and stable? Why is the onus of making a marriage work just on the women? Do women who can't cook or sew or apply makeup not make for good wives? Why is there no such criteria for the perfect dulha?
I am glad that Twitterati agrees with me. Here's what some of them had to say:
The myth that a woman is only a "caregiver" needs to be busted. This institute needs to understand that motherhood and housework is NOT a woman’s sole purpose and couples need to share the responsibilities of running a household. Given our society, it makes more sense to teach men how to share the load and respect their wives, rather than telling dulhans how to rediscover the value of a family home. Am I right or am I right?
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