13 WTF Thoughts I Had While Watching ‘Badrinath Ki Dulhania’!

13 WTF Thoughts I Had While Watching ‘Badrinath Ki Dulhania’!
I wasn’t the only one who was super excited when the trailer for Badrinath Ki Dulhania came out. Anybody who has seen Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania is aware of the cutesy chemistry that Alia Bhatt and Varun Dhawan share and I couldn’t wait to get more of it. The trailer did leave me with a couple of doubts about how the movie would pan out, but it seemed like it would be a fun watch. So I got myself a first day ticket, sat in the hall…and severely regretted it. Varun a.k.a. Badri is a spoilt rich brat, but with an emotional and kind side to him, who has one look at Alia a.k.a. Vaidehi, who is a middle class girl with ambitions (god forbid!) and decides he has to have her, even when his family won’t allow her to work or have a life of any kind, basically, because LOVE. What ensues is a 2-hour-20-minutes long movie that had me going WTF almost every minute! Here’s my Badrinath Ki Dulhania review…

1. They met five minutes ago, how do they have synchronised dance steps?!

Okay, Bollywood, you need to stop! Stop feeding us these unreal ‘first meeting’ expectations. Who are these two people and how did they just start dancing like THAT in under ten minutes? It’s so farfetched in this day and age that I lost half my interest in the movie the minute this happened. It’s because of beginnings like these that I am still eating ice cream out of a single bucket on Saturday evenings! 1 Badrinath Ki Dulhania

2. What is up with the accent? No, seriously!

I understand that the film is set in Jhansi and Kota and there is a different dialect there, but OH MY GOD, keeping up with the accent of both Alia and Varun through the movie was a task. The supporting actors did a much much better job at it. You can’t ‘fake it till you make it’ out of everything in life, guys!

3. So he is just downright stalking her?

Can someone tell me why in 2017 are we still considering stalking as a way women like to be wooed? You might be trying to prove a different point, but that is really not coming across. The badass guy in his SUV car and dark sunglasses NOT understanding that no means no is the takeaway we’re getting and it’s really not what we need. 3 Badrinath Ki Dulhania

4. And her family is cool with it because ladka ameer hai!

Yes, money is pretty important, but get it together, uncle! When you can choose between a good-for-nothing son-in-law and your daughter getting paid 1 lakh in Singapore, you pick the latter!

5. Now she is friends with her stalker? Great move!

So after Badri stalks Vaidehi and Vaidehi (quite literally) tells him to back off, I started feeling a little better. Maybe I was underestimating the movie and there was some sense to it after all. This was until she decided, hey, wouldn’t it be great to become friends with this guy who is clearly in love with me (the psychotic kind) and ask him to help me find my sister a husband? Because, of course, the best way to deal with stalkers is to friendzone them! 5 Badrinath Ki Dulhania

6. Her sister rejected 30 guys just to end up with him?!

Now, all this while, you are made to believe that Vaidehi and her sister are two sensible girls who can tell right from wrong and don’t take what the society hands out quietly. Until, after rejecting 30 guys, her sister agrees to marry the dude who goes around doing ‘mata ki chowki’ in different countries because: a) shaadi ki umar ho rahi hai; b) ladka almost NRI hai; and c) compromises are a way of life. And, oh, she has known him for like half an hour or so. I mean, how random could you get?!

7. Oh, she doesn’t have money, but she has all these amazing earrings? No fair!

Why can’t some ounce of reality creep into a romantic movie? How does a middle-class girl with so many financial issues have these gorgeous earrings and clothes? Yes, I do understand the need for aesthetic beauty, but at least don’t make her sound like someone in need for some serious help and then make her look like that!
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8. So he is paying her dowry so that she marries him? Yeah, that’s a great solution!

The film has brought up quite a few flaws of Indian society. Like how women are constantly disrespected, the issue of dowry and even molestation (which we’ll get to later on), but has given zero solutions. When Badri realises that his dad won’t agree to a marriage without a dowry and Vaidehi would never marry a guy who asks for dowry, guess what he does? He pays the dowry money without telling her. Jugaad at its worst, my friend!

9. How does his friend go everywhere with him?

Where do you find such friends? I mean, seriously, why does he always have to be with you? From Jhansi to Kota to Mumbai and then to Singapore, Somdev is always with Badri - and I don’t know about Badri, but I definitely found it super-suffocating. No sense of privacy at all! 9 Badrinath Ki Dulhania

10. He threatens to kill her, so she gets him to stay at her place. How nice!

So Badri goes to Singapore to find Vaidehi because she leaves him at the altar so she can find a job. His father wants him to teach her a lesson...and the first time they meet in Singapore, he kidnaps her and threatens to kill her. When the police take him into custody, she obviously tells them nothing happened and, in fact, makes him stay with her for the rest of the trip. Don’t know if that is nice or just plain stupid.

11. Did they really make a joke out of a guy being molested?

I could forgive the movie for all its silly takes at social norms except for this one. It is a completely uncalled for scene where Badri gets molested by a bunch of guys in the streets of Singapore. Yes, a guy gets molested. And what do his friends do when they come and find him? They laugh. And what does the audience do when they see everybody laughing? They laugh along. I really can’t believe that we are fighting for more sensitivity around rape and molestation of women, but make a terrible, distasteful, tragic joke of it when a man gets molested. Also, what was the point of the scene? It added nothing to the story other than illogical comic relief.
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12. ‘Tamma Tamma’ because no movie is complete without a party song!

‘Tamma Tamma’ is the most unnecessary party song ever! And I say this as the girl who did quite enjoy all the other songs through the movie. I feel the song was added because the story could not find a point of transformation and, hey, what’s a better way to realise you love someone than some incessant flirting at a party?

13. End it already!

Half an hour before the movie came to an end, I knew what the end would be like. I knew he was going to leave her, head back home, stand up to his father and fight for his love, while she would realise she loves him and love is as important as her career and you can have both the things at the same time…just like the rest of the world. What could have been said in an hour or less was dragged on for longer than necessary just to teach us some incoherent moral values in the worst way possible. 13 Badrinath Ki Dulhania Go watch the movie ONLY for its songs, Alia’s beautiful clothes and, of course, the tune of Samjhawan playing at the end, which is one of its saving graces! GIFs: Giphy