It’s a bizarre parallel to draw, yes, but I’ve done some thinking, and I’ve come up with the perfect makeup equivalents for your favourite on-screen characters. I won’t stall—let’s dive right in and watch out for spoilers!
Colour-Changing Lipstick? Cherry-Red Lipstick? Let’s Find Out
Alexis, Schitt’s Creek
EW, David! I’ve watched Schitt’s Creek more than thrice now, and Alexis has retained her status as my favourite out of the rest of the cast. I think I admire her character for all the development it underwent over the course of the series—Alexis was introduced to us as a run-off-the-mill, over-privileged 27-year-old, and by the end of the series, she was managing her own business, playing David’s accomplice in negotiations, and putting up head-swiveling choreographies for us. Because of how versatile and dynamic she is, I’m enlisting a poppy, multi-coloured eyeshadow-palette into the equation. She’d approve, no? And, maybe, market the product too. Call us, Alexis.
Rose, Two and a Half Men
Ah—Rose from Two and a Half Men is quite the character—and everything her name isn’t. You brush her off as a one-time stalker meant to thicken the plot for all of twenty minutes—but she comes back for more. Rose isn’t your middle-of-the-road stalker next-door. She’s dab-hand at stalking—thanks to how intelligent she is (and discreet—because how does she crawl into Charlie’s bed all the time?). She schemes and strategises like it’s her profession—remember the website she created for all of Charlie’s detractors to ostracize and humiliate him? She did it without anyone suspecting her, and that’s just one instance of her genius. If I say too much, I’m going to give it all away—but I think Rose’s expertise lies in her ability to scheme and conceal, and that’s why I imagine she’d excel at doing the job of a colour-changing lipstick.
Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
I’ve been binge-watching Gilmore Girls for a couple of years (now more than ever—it’s the perfect way to reel in these rain-drenched days), and I’ve not once stumbled upon a show that rivals the kind of person Lorelai Gilmore is. While the show is fixated on her relationship with Rory, Lorelai’s life beyond her daughter is explored through the seasons. She shares a more-than-complicated bond with her parents; she refuses to start her day without a cup of coffee at Luke’s; she talks in punchlines—her wit is a weapon; she defends Luke against Jess; and she decides she wants to run her own inn, and does it alongside bestfriend Sookie. She’s reminded of the fact that she isn’t a typical Gilmore all the time, but she doesn’t see it as a weakness. She takes on the world in her own way—according to her sensibilities. I see her as dynamic and adaptable; and that’s why I think she’d embody a multi-purpose product very well.
Caroline Forbes, The Vampire Diaries
My dark under-eyes are courtesy of binge-watching The Vampire Diaries during lockdown. Yes—they continue to pursue me even now. But it was worth it. I remember finding Caroline a little (excessively) annoying at the beginning of the series (it was Elena all along), and suddenly, she was my go-to character. I credit much of the development to her vampirism. She went from a people-pleaser trying hard to earn everyone’s validation to a bold, powerful woman who stood her ground regardless of the circumstances (flashback to when she tossed Damon around a room for hurting her father). She’s the equivalent of a scarlet-red lipstick to me—fierce, in-your-face, and unforgiving.
Phoebe Buffay, Friends
Phoebe is eccentric—she sings off-key, she scares hundreds of passengers off a plane through a phone-call, she adopts rat babies, she runs with her arms flailing all around her, and she writes very realistic songs. And because she’s so raw and real, I crown her character as my all-time favourite. I think she’s just as electrifying as a streak of electric-green eyeliner on the lids. I know I see it.
Did I get it right?
Featured Image: Instagram
