The perception of marriage is gradually, and rightfully so, evolving from being looked at as the ultimate destination to an individual choice. Not everyone wants to get married. Marriages don’t guarantee a happily ever after. At the same time, it can be a wholesome lifelong journey with someone you choose as your partner.
For ages, our world defined the primary duty of a woman’s life in relation to wedlock. As if there’s nothing more to our lives than a man. There wasn’t much autonomy for women in terms of choosing the partner as well. Getting married was a one-way ticket from which return was next to impossible. And it’s not like we don’t see its underlying presence to this day.
The point here is that marriage is not a necessity but a decision you should be able to make for yourself whenever, IF ever, you’re ready. Here are 10 women who shared (to us or online) their personal thoughts on marriage, and their reasons for both wanting and not wanting to enter wedlock make all the sense in the world. Take a look:
1. “I do want to get married in the future, but I’m not in a rush and finding the right partner, a healthy and healed partner is more of a priority than just having someone to marry.”
2. “Because I don’t need to. Never wanted to live with a man. It was never a goal. I don’t want children. I love living alone. Found a divorced dude who did the marriage/kid despite knowing he wanted to live alone, but caved to the script when young. He lives alone now. We cool.”
3. “As an institution, marriage to me, has always meant adjustment. It seems like it comes with certain compromises, especially in our society. Of course, women have to do more, and I’ve seen that happening to women around me. The nature of the relationship feels restricting. I wouldn’t want to change the sense of liberation that I have now, and so, I wouldn’t want to get married – at least that’s what I feel at this point.”
4. “As someone who is getting married soon, my reason is that I want to be married to my SO. That’s it. That’s the end all, be all of this decision to me. The extra – medical power of attorney and hospital visitation and end of life decisions – those are all wonderful, and I feel very strongly about them. But I mostly just want to be married. I want to call him husband and tell everyone, loudly, that I’m his and he’s mine and we’re forever.”
5. “Insurance/financial benefits. Obviously ‘because you’re in love’ is a good reason too, but I don’t see that as a reason TO get married. If I get married, it won’t be because I love my partner. It’ll be because I want to share insurance benefits. I wouldn’t marry someone if I didn’t love them, but I also won’t marry someone for the sole reason of ‘because I love you’.”
6. “As someone who has never seen happy marriages in her family or her extended circle, I have a very different view on marriage. I’m 25 and I don’t think I’m ready to get married right now. I’m not financially where I want to be and it’ll take me a lot of time to get there. I need to complete my goals and wishes which will also take a long time. I think I have my own baggage of problems and issues which I want to resolve first before dumping them on someone for a lifetime.”
7. “I don’t see the point. I want to be independent. I disagree with the reasons it exists in the first place. I don’t care about tradition. I don’t see what a legal contract has to do with being in a relationship with someone I love. So many reasons. Haven’t heard any to convince me otherwise.”
8. “At this stage of my life, I wouldn’t want to get married. I am just not ready for it. It seems like one of life’s BIGGEST decisions, and I wouldn’t want to make one until I’m emotionally and financially secure. I also haven’t seen very many successful marriages. Of course, the idea of ‘THE ONE’ is very fancy, but ‘THE ONE’ is also a figment of fiction.”
9. “Based on 98% relationships that I’ve seen around me, I don’t think being with one person for the rest of your life is sustainable. People’s lives change drastically in a 10-year period alone.”
10. “My parents have been married now for 25+ years and they have a great relationship. While I may seem cynical on the exterior, I’m a romantic at heart. I still want to find a partner for whom I’ll have a similar relationship to what my parents have. I want to still be happily telling the stories of how we met and how marriage was proposed a quarter of a century later.”
It’s ‘to each their own’ at the end. Any option here is justified if you are making the decision for yourself.