I honestly won’t ever forget the first time I watched porn as a 16-year-old teen. It was an empty period in school, somehow a friend of mine got her hands on her brother’s phone for the day and that was the first glimpse of porn in my life. Since then, I have watched porn a handful of times. And NGL, there is just something about it that always made me cringe.
Perhaps it is the outlandish clothes, embarrassing dialogues or lack of communication that always made me avoid such films like a plague. But truth be told, the biggest reason is the lack of authenticity! Porn teaches us all big fat lies about how sex is supposed to be and boy oh boy, those filmmakers get it so wrong.
Condom? What’s That?
No one, I repeat, no one stops during a porn film to say, ‘I am going sleep with a person I don’t know, shouldn’t I worry about STIs (Sexually transmitted infections)?’ There is no awkward fumbling around for the rubber or even a mention of the word condom. Just FYI, in real life, you better wrap it before you tap it.
Everyone Is Hairless And Gorgeous
So this one is a personal grouse! As a young woman, watching porn made me believe that the only way I’ll ever be sexually desirable is by being hairless. Everyone in a porn movie is exceptionally stunning, hairless and well endowed. IRL, sex is not about just the looks but the connection. Being hairless or not is a choice not a requirement for sex. Period.
Every Single Person On The Face Of The Earth Is DTF
In the porn universe, it seems like everyone is a crazy, horny sexual deviant. Be it your plumber, your doctor, even your mailman, everyone is simply looking for some action every single second of their lives. Sorry to break it to you, but in reality, people are not looking to bang 24/7, simply ‘coz sex is a part of life, not life itself.
There Are No Cramps
So, here is the theory I have—everyone starring in a porn film is an Olympic acrobat ‘coz how else do they try out all these extreme positions with no cramps. Believe it or not, human beings actually have bones and they can’t bend their legs backwards without cracking something. So, just because a position looks super easy in an adult film, don’t try it without having a conversation with your partner.
You Don’t Need A Safe Word
When it comes to sex, everyone has different boundaries and that’s perfectly okay. IRL, it is better for a couple to have a safe word to make sure things are not turning uncomfortable for anyone in the room. However, in porn, safe word is an alien concept and that’s just so messed up. Boundaries are important, consent is important and there are no two ways about it.
Who Needs Lube?
If at any point in life you have tried anal sex or thought about it, you’d know that you need a lot of lubrication for it. Alas, in the magical land of porn, that’s hardly a requirement as anyone can try anal sex without any preparation.
Tring…tring! Hello, Is this porn? Hi, real life is calling and we’d like you to cut the BS now. It is 2022, can we finally have porn that looks authentic?
Feature Image Credit: Unsplash
