For most modern women, Women’s Day is nothing more than a capitalist marketing gimmick – a clever annual event designed to make us spend our salaries in the name of ‘treating ourselves’. It almost feels silly to have a singular day dedicated to half the population that is usually overlooked and under-compensated the rest of the year.
And yet, amidst the sea of pink banners and discount codes, I can’t help but find a certain guilty pleasure in the irony of it all. Yes, we’re all savvy to the game, fully aware that empowerment isn’t something you can bottle and sell – unless, of course, it’s in the form of a limited edition, 24k gold face serum that promises to rejuvenate not just my skin, but my weary spirit too. So here’s a list of gifts women actually want on Women’s Day, written with a chuckle and a sigh.
If We Can’t Have What We *Really* Want, Here’s What Works Instead
“Who needs equal pay when there’s a foundation that can cover up all our problems!”
“Forget about making history, we’ll just settle for a beauty gadget that promises to sculpt our face better than society tries to sculpt our roles.”
“Who needs a seat at the table when we have a cruelty-free lipstick that stays on longer than most careers?”
“She doesn’t want you to open the door for her, she wants a minimal skincare routine that travels well.”
“A day without mansplaining would be the perfect gift! But since those don’t exist, I’d rather have that 5k perfume that masks the scent of male ego.”
“Who needs real progress when you can have a facial cream that claims to reverse time? Because that’s obviously what we’ve been asking for.”
“No promotions for married women? It’s okay, what they really want is a skincare product that doesn’t promise more than it delivers.”
“We don’t need your respect, just an eyeshadow palette where the only thing that’s shady are the colours.”
“You don’t need to fight for our causes; just find us a lip balm that solves all problems by making us ‘pretty’.”
“Mentorship? You must have heard that wrong. What I really need is a lip tint that won’t quit on me, unlike most corporate diversity initiatives.”
So there you have it, a not-so-serious take on the paradox that is Women’s Day – a day when empowerment is sold in the form of products and discounts and success is measured by the longevity of our lipstick. Enough said, I think.
Featured Image: instagram/@aaliabhatt
