Relationships are difficult to handle, sometimes. While two people may love each other unconditionally, the problem stems from the fact that the two people in the relationship are different and have different expectations from their partners. Everyone expresses affection in their own unique way and a relationship strengthens when both the partners accept this.
Rajat and I had been in a relationship for almost an year when things started going a little downhill. The honeymoon period was now over and we were starting to pick fights on things that did not matter. While most things were manageable, the major thorn on my side was that he would not give me time like he used to before.
He is a lawyer and his days are spent in the court mostly. In the evenings, he works on the cases that are due for the next day. Basically, he has a busy day and our communication is limited to a few messages through the day and a call at night. I have a relatively lighter schedule since my work hours are flexible as I have my own business.
Whenever I would be free, I would want to talk to him or text him but he had a standard reply – ‘I’m really busy’. After a while, it got to a point where there would be days we wouldn’t even have a single conversation. To say I was annoyed was an understatement.
One day, after having had no conversation for two whole days, he called me to ask where I was and why I hadn’t texted him for two days. That was the point I completely lost my mind. I started screaming at him.
‘Have you cared to message me even once in the two days? You don’t care. You don’t give me time anymore. Has the relationship gotten too boring for you? Do you not want to be with me? It’s okay, you can tell me. I’m tired of this non existent one sided relationship too!’ I screamed without a pause.
He was silent for a minute or two. Then he said, in the sweetest way ever, ‘Do you even know why I work so hard? Soon your parents will pressurise you to get married and if at that time, I’m not settled, what will we do? I’m only thinking about our future together and nothing else. How could you not know that? I thought you understood me better than that.’
I was shocked at this revelation. I had never thought of it this way. It upset me that instead of trying to understand him and figure out where he was coming from or even talk to him, I had let this anger foster in me for so long. I was the one who was wrong and not him. After calming down a little more, I apologized. There was nothing at this point that I could say that would make it better.
The next day, he made sure we met. We discussed in length what I was feeling and tried to do away with all my fears and insecurities. It dawned on me that I was really lucky to be in a relationship with somebody so caring and amazing. He was just different from me and once I accepted that, our relationship got better than it was before!
*Names changed to protect privacy
Images: Shutterstock
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