As much as I am a big Bollywood fan – I constantly wish that life was one huge Yash Raj movie – even I cannot deny the fact that there are some things that happen in movies that would NEVER happen in real life. Bollywood has set unrealistic standards for us, women, to live up to and if they haven’t gotten the memo, let me just tell them that these things ain’t never gonna happen, misters! So, here are just a few things that women do in movies that would never really happen in real life, EVER!
1. Fall in love with our stalker
We have enough movies, from R… Rajkumar to Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania, where it has been shown, time and again, that if you stalk the girl enough, she will eventually fall in love with you. It’s like you can slowly wear her down and she will give in to your advances. Excuse me, if that happens in real life, the only place I’m taking you to is the police station.
2. Nobody wakes up looking like perfection
I absolutely hate when girls in the movies wake up with hair and makeup that look like she’s just come from the salon? How does that even happen? Have they never seen a woman just as she wakes up in the morning? It’s not perfectly blow-dried hair and natural makeup; it’s what I like to call, a mess!
3. Marry the person who kidnapped and, almost, killed you
The most disturbing thing about Badrinath Ki Dulhania was how Badri kidnaps Vaidehi and she’s totally okay with it. In fact, she marries him in the end. Why? Why would you marry your kidnapper? It is downright crazy!
4. Have no career goals
In most mainstream masala movies, the female lead just exists. She has no career goals as such, even if she has a job. It’s all about landing the guy and eventually being arm candy. So much for empowerment.
5. Wear tiny dresses in the snow
Which girl, I repeat, which girl can wear a barely there blouse and a chiffon saree in the Alps where the temperature is in single digits, sometimes even negative. Show me one such girl and I shall accept defeat (never)!
6. Assume that your love can change the boy
Real life rarely has Rahuls, Anjalis and Tinas. Chances are if you fall in love with a f*ckboy, you’re going to get your heart broken. Forgive me if this sounds too brutal, but they’re not changing for anybody, especially not for a girl.
7. The magical makeover
All it takes is an ethnic suit and some contact lenses to make a girl go from ‘nay’ to ‘yay’. And suddenly, everyone is in love with her and the hero feels that there are violins playing everywhere. Remember Main Hoon Na, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani? Does it happen in real life? Umm, no!
8. Fake cancer just to get away from the guy
Half Girlfriend failed for a lot of reasons and one of them was the fact that Shraddha Kapoor lies to Arjun Kapoor about having cancer just because she had commitment issues. To put it mildly, it was the stupidest thing ever. Just ghost the damn guy or tell him you never want to see him again. That should do the job. You really don’t have to change continents to get away from a guy. Or fake terminal illness!
9. Dancing in the rain
Hands down the worst one. Remember, Raveena Tandon in Tip Tip Barsa Paani? Who can manage to look that sensual in a saree in rain? How is her hair not sticking to her face and her makeup not running everywhere? How did she not trip over considering the wet saree? So many questions that real girls can’t figure out. If a real woman does that in front of her crush, he will be pretty creeped out, to be honest.
GIFs: Giphy
