The trouble with sanskaars is that they only apply to us women and somehow evade the other half of humanity; which makes me wonder if being sanskaari is about being cultured or if it’s just another tool that society uses to keep its womenfolk in check. Either way, my lifestyle, my choices and my dreams don’t define how sanskaari I am and I would really like to stop hearing these things on an everyday basis:
1. “Listen, your bra strap is showing. Tuck it in, quick.”
But the entire humanity wears undergarments and I don’t go about pointing at random men whose vest is visible. Why bother me, then?
2. “Look at her wearing a strapless blouse/crop top/skirt/dress … it doesn’t look decent yaar.”
And who gave you the authority to dictate decency to humanity? Do you think it’s decent to take away anyone’s freedom to dress the way they want?
Wear what your heart desires. Get this classy ruffle crop top (Rs. 699) that’d make you stand out in the crowd.
3. “Girls these days are ashamed of wearing a bindi or putting vermilion on their forehead. Tradition means nothing to them.”
Tradition means going beyond these visible labels of marriage. Tradition means continuing rituals because you believe in them, not just because they’ve been passed on to you.
4. “She is so loud and abusive. Good girls don’t talk like that.”
Good people don’t comment about other people like that. They mind their own business and let others be.
5. “Can’t even cook a round roti. What will she do at her husband’s home?”
At her husband’s home, she will do as she pleases. She is not marrying him to feed him and his family.
6. “Ideally, a girl should get married as soon as she’s done with her studies and has her degree in place. No one likes an old bride, you know?”
No one asked for your advice, you know?
7. “Playing cards and drinking wine – sanskaar khatam hogae hain.”
Boys, on the other hand, can drink and play, because they’re boys and that’s enough reason.
Let’s get a little fancy in life and play with this set of gold-plated playing cards (Rs. 240). Be a rebel, in style.
8. “Tch tch! She has so many guy friends. First, they want male attention and then they cry when something goes wrong.”
Becoming friends with men doesn’t mean asking for male attention. In fact, nothing a girl ever does means that she is ‘asking for it’ unless she actually expresses her consent.
9. “Don’t do anything that your father would be ashamed of.”
Living life on your own terms is not dishonouring anyone. Following your dreams is not bringing shame upon your family. It’s simply respecting your individuality and people closest to you should ardently support you in it, not restrict you.
10. “She’s always on her phone, must have a boyfriend. Shameless!”
What about the boy on the other side of the phone? Ah, but he’s such a dude to have some girl swooning over him. Double standards, much?
11. “She keeps watching English movies and shows – that is where she gets her fancy ideas to get tattoos and piercings done.”
The last time I checked, it is my body. So, ideally, I should have the last say on what goes and what doesn’t.
12. “Come back home before it gets darks. Girls who belong to good families don’t stay out late.”
You suck all life and freedom out of girls and give them the coveted title of being ‘good’ in return. But, I don’t want your title, not at the cost of my freedom. Thank you.
Be your own knight in shining armour with this pepper spray bottle (Rs. 520).
13. “I have never seen her pray or go to the temple. What will she teach her children?”
She will teach them to be a good human first. She will tell them to be kind to their fellow beings and never kill another to establish the supremacy of their beliefs. She will teach them peace, tolerance, and equality.
GIFs: Giphy
