Isn’t it just super annoying when people pass outrageous comments on how you look or your relationship status? It’s especially annoying when people scan the way you look and in a patronizing tone ask, ‘Oh, have you gained weight?’ and you have to put on a fake smile and say ‘I guess, yeah’ only to go through a lecture on all the home remedies that could help you reduce weight. Um, how about no? Have you ever thought maybe I want to gain weight? I mean, it’s all about being healthy – not skinny or fat! It’s time to give it back, girls! Here are 15 replies for the next time someone asks you ‘Hey, have you gained weight?’
1. ‘No. But wait, have you?’
Doesn’t feel so great now, does it?
2. ‘I think it’s just the baby showing, no big deal!’
Then quickly walk away like you didn’t just say that!
3. ‘Yes, I have. Look at my curves now!’
Give ‘em a twirl while you’re at it!
4. ‘Nah, but I did get fluffier!’
They just won’t know what hit them!
5. ‘Oh, it’s funny I was just about to ask you the same thing. Weird how our brains synced for a moment, right?!’
That’s right, we’re turning the tables!
6. ‘Finally someone noticed it! I have been on a weight gain diet for a while now. You seem to be doing great too, what’s your secret, huh?’
Subtle insults are the way to go, my friends!
7. ‘Yeah. I guess it’s a good thing I’m not insecure like a certain somebody I know!’
Secretly point at them in your head while you say this!
8. ‘Jeez! Stop flirting with me, you!’
Stay positive, no matter what! *wink*
9. ‘Yeah! Don’t worry I’ll lose it as soon as you lose that attitude.’
Add a wink while you walk away!
10. ‘Oh no! It could be my ‘no bullshit’ allergy acting up again!’
*Runs away*
11. ‘The world just needed more of me, y’know?’
Just trying to save the world, y’all!
12. ‘You are so lucky I am not hungry right now!’
Or you could eat them right off this planet!
13. ‘Yeah, just like you have gained stupidity.’
Bang on, right?!
14. ‘Really? Is that the only flaw you could see? I must be pretty perfect!’
You got it right, girl!
15. ‘I might or might not have. But I definitely have lost all interest in talking to you!’
That’s all, folks!
