The first year of marriage feels like the first day of school …every single day of the year! You feel out of place, cry out like never before for your parents and basically just want to rush back home to them. But because you aren’t a little kid anymore and this isn’t your first day at school, you need to remind yourself that it will only get better. Here are 13 reminders that every woman in the first year of her marriage needs to hear.
1. Yes, your life has changed completely in the past few months. And even though everyday feels difficult now, your life will change again in a couple of months and you will start feeling more at home
It takes a while for any clan to accept its new members. Just know that with time, you will become one of your husband’s family too. Let this year pass.
2. Remember the woman you were before you got married to Mr. X and became his wife
Even though you may not be able to dress up like her, go out like her or be like her, never forget the independent woman she always was. For only then will you keep her alive within you and will be able to go back to being like her.
3. Your husband’s family comes with its own set of traditions and values. Pick up what you like without compromising on your own beliefs
Like Carrie Bradshaw rightly said, “You have to take the tradition and decorate it your own way.”
Give Sex and The City (Rs 299) a read and know all the other important life lessons Carrie Bradshaw has for humanity.
4. You may not agree with a few things that happen at your husband’s place, but that does not mean you still nod your head in acceptance. People respect a person who has her own mind and stance in the long run
Don’t dumb yourself down for anyone, ever!
5. Smile more often than you complain
You’re the newest member of the fam. Know that people around you are also trying to adjust to the ways of you and that it’s easier to adjust to and understand a person who is smiling than one who’s scowling.
6. Do not compare yourself to other brides-to-be or newly married woman. It’s a dangerous trap
You do not know of their life histories and their struggles. You have no right to be jealous of the joy their pictures tell.
7. Your new family is judging you. Know that the first year of marriage is crucial to making a lasting impression on them
They know nothing about you and are unconsciously watching your little habits and moods to understand you better. You don’t want to fall into their category of “sullen, keep-away”.
Surprise your family with their favourite food once in awhile with a help of this Sanjeev Kapoor Recipe book available on Amazon for Rs 446
8. Don’t bend to the pressure of being ‘the ideal bahu’. You aren’t meant to be ideal, just keep it real
The ideal bahu is over-rated. She does what she is told and conforms so bad that she loses her own identity in her desperate attempt to be one with her husband’s fam. Realize that you are way better than her with your imperfections and flaws intact.
9. Don’t expect your husband to do everything the way you ask him to. He too is getting used to your presence in his life
Yes, he is your life partner and he very recently vowed to stand beside you and take care of you, but he also has a mind of his own. He will take a little while to understand your way of functioning and until then, he won’t exactly do the things as you tell him to. Just like you.
10. Everything will feel new and strange. It’s okay. Enjoy the change while it lasts
If it makes you feel any better, know that every newly-wed goes through this and comes out just fine.
11. Having a child is your decision. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
Society is crazy. They can be interfering and can also always pressure a young bride like you to have a child at every single opportunity they can. I’m asking you to not to listen to them. They won’t be raising your child for you, so they don’t get to have a say. Okay?
If you aren’t planning to have a child anytime soon, we suggest you use protection (Rs 116). Accidents aren’t adventures, you know?
12. Make time for your friends and your hobbies and all the things that are important to you
Like I said earlier, remember who you used to be. Remember the things that gave you joy and fuelled your passions. Remember the people who stood by you in difficult times and make it a point to take some time out every few weeks for them.
13. You will have to work upon your marriage, all your life
You two can’t start off strong and then get complacent and just let your marriage run at its own pace till one of you dies. You will have to fight and argue and make up. You also have to mend and accept, compromise and demand. You can’t give up, any time, ever. That’s commitment.
GIFs: Giphy
