The much awaited film OK Jaanu, starring Shraddha Kapoor and Aditya Roy Kapur, just released and we decided to watch it (still regretting the decision, btw). OK Jaanu is not an ok movie, it’s a pointless one. It’s an official remake of Mani Ratnam’s Tamil film OK Kanmani, and it’s also an attempt to ruin the Tamil version (which they have done successfully). This movie made us want to go back and watch the original movie for detox. We won’t say that the movie is bad, but if you have already booked your tickets, we’d suggest you carry a tablet of Disprin in your bag, and if you haven’t yet booked it, go and buy yourself a Happy Meal instead. An apt summary of the movie would be…if Ae Dil Hai Mushkil had sex with Befikre, OK Jaanu would be their child. Here’s our reaction to OK Jaanu…
1. I know how this is going to end!
Soon after the movie started we just knew how it was going to end. Two commitment phobics (Adi and Tara) meet each other and decide to live together until they both fly abroad. They decide that they won’t get married, have kids and blah blah blah, because they don’t want to make it complicated, they just want to have fun. So, do they fall in love and get married in the end? DO THEY? *Rolls eyes*
2. Lust at first sight? Because why the hell not?!
So Adi and Tara meet at a common friend’s wedding and bam! It’s lust at first sight. Everyone, apart from the ones who dozed off in the first fifteen minutes, could tell that both the ‘jaanus’ can’t wait to get inside each other’s pants.
3. Stalking someone is NOT romantic. It’s damn creepy!!
We had some serious issues with this character Adi. Soon after they exchanged numbers and decided to go on a date, this lad shows up outside her office. And he doesn’t stop there, when she tells him that she has to go on an official trip to Ahmedabad, bro shows up in the damn train. Aww… How romantic na? NO! It’s damn creepy, she doesn’t know him at all.
4. Shraddha, are you doing the mannequin challenge?
Shraddha Kapoor aka Tara had zero expressions on her face. If you draw a smiley on a paper, we’re sure that would be more expressive than her. Maybe it was not her fault, maybe she was just doing the mannequin challenge. Like, is she sad? Is she happy? Is she horny? Is she saying something? Who knows?!
5. Did you just rent a room with a total stranger?
So back to the ‘Ahmedabad trip’. Both Adi and Tara decide to rent a hotel room together because if a stranger follows you around and asks you to rent a hotel room, what else do you do? Urmm… Call the police, maybe? But no, they rent a room in a shady hotel, which by the way looked nothing less than a five star hotel room, and danced to ‘Humma Humma’. Yeah, that’s all.
6. You ruined ‘Humma Humma’ for no damn reason?!
So when we watched the new version of ‘Humma Humma’ with a pinch of Badshah in it, we thought to ourselves ‘Ok, maybe this song would make sense when we watch the movie’, but no. NO NO NO, it doesn’t. They just ruined our favourite ‘90s song for fun, ladies.
While Adi and Tara were ‘chilling’ in their room, the song started playing on the radio and they started dancing. The end.
7. You say ‘jaanu’ again, and I’ll hit you with a shoe.
Okay, let’s get this straight: jaanu, shonu, kucchu, pucchu or whatever other lovey-dovey names you use can get annoying after a while… And chalo maan liya, that you call her ‘jaanu’ out of love, why the fuck do you have to use it in every damn sentence? Just because the name of the movie is OK Jaanu? We’re so done with this word that the next time we hear it, our reflex action would be to throw a shoe at someone.
8. Oh, of course she HAD to sing! Sanskaari Bharatiya naari hai na…
Okay, back to the story. After their so called trip, they decide to move in together. Adi introduces Tara to his landlord and tells him the whole ‘we want to live together, but we don’t to marry each other’ concept. So the landlord, like any other Indian landlord, says ‘no’. But, Tara impresses the landlord’s wife (who’s a very well known classical singer), by singing a classical song. And then, my friends, the landlord gets convinced that she’s a ‘sanskaari Bharatiya naari’, because she sings classical, man.
9. Haven’t they heard of something called ‘long distance relationships’? Or…logic?
Soon, the time when they have to say tata-bye to each other and fly abroad, comes nearer and both Adi and Tara start to realize that they’re in love. And then the real dilemma comes in ‘Tumhaare liye zyada aham kya hai? Tumhara career ya Adi?’ Like WHY? There’s something called ‘long distance relationships’, ever heard of that? Why does she have to choose? Can’t she have both? Of course it’s Bollywood, how’d we forget?!
10. Bollywood’s idea of having fun is quite fucked up!
Adi and Tara decide to live their life to the fullest until they’re together in Mumbai. So they turn on their Befikre mode and start stealing food from other people and doing random shit on the streets of Mumbai. Dear Bollywood, two people can have fun without stealing, stripping or being jerks to other people.
11. I.Knew.It. They get married because… Ainvayi!
After having a lot of ‘fun’ and fighting with each other without any reason, Adi and Tara decide to get married before flying abroad. And the movie ends with a red lehenga, a golden sherwani and a lot of people asking for refunds.
The only reason you should watch OK Jaanu is… Hahaha, we’re kidding! Save your money.
