The arranged marriage scenario can be a tad bit overwhelming sometimes. It’s common for your mind to be flooded with doubts and questions when you’re going to meet the guy for the first time. You can not treat it like a first date because it’s a way more formal situation, and the decision is a life-changing one! Here are a few questions to ask at the first rishta meeting that’ll make the decision-making process a little bit easier.
1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?
This seemingly simple question can give you a very clear idea of what the other person is like and it’ll help you understand each other so much better.
2. What are your travel habits?
If you are a passionate traveller and want to explore the world, make sure you ask him this question. You’ll get to know his travel preferences and you can both find out if your desires align.
3. Who are you closest to in your family?
Whether his parents or his siblings, the answer to this will tell you who he listens to and whose opinion he holds in great regard. It might also give you a vague idea of his family dynamics.
4. Tell me about your best friends
A person is known by the company he keeps. If he talks passionately and loyally about his friends, you’ll know he’s committed in his relationships and friendships. If he’s flaky about his friends, it could be a warning sign.
5. Have you ever lived on your own?
People who have lived on their own have a sense of responsibility and have a slightly better understanding of how to manage their day-to-day activities. It’ll also give you an idea of his contribution to household chores.
6. So what is your take on live-in relationships and one night stands?
While you cannot ask him straight away about his sexual experiences, you can ask him about the same in a roundabout way. You’ll find out if he’s strongly opinionated or pretty accepting. Either ways, this will lead to more discussions. However, don’t disclose your personal history too soon, unless you’re comfortable with him.
7. What expectations do you have from your partner?
It is very important that you know what he wants from his partner. You’ll also find out if he expects you to be a homemaker or is supportive of your career goals and ambitions.
8. What are the things that you would not compromise on at all?
Everyone has a few things they do not want to compromise on. Ask him about his hard limits. If they are things you are okay with, only then does it make sense to take the meeting to the next level.
9. What hobbies do you wish you had time to pursue?
Ask about his hobbies. Not the one he currently pursues but the ones he wishes he had time to pursue. This will tell you a lot about his interests.
10. What do you do for a living? Are you passionate about your work?
While you already know what he does, it is very different coming from the horse’s mouth. You’ll find out if he likes his work or not just by the way he talks about it. It’ll give you an insight to his hopes, dreams and aspirations.
11. Where do you usually party?
If you guys like to party or go out to the same places, it’s just one extra thing that you two have in common and that’s just so exciting.
12. Can you order for the both of us please?
You’ll not only get to know his food preferences but also find out how he talks to and treats people who are serving him.
13. What are your religious and spiritual views?
If these things matter to you a lot, do not hesitate to ask. While your views don’t have to completely match, if both of you can respect and live with each other’s view on this matter, nothing’s better than that.
14. How much do you think you’ll contribute to household responsibilities and family duties?
Asking him this will not only tell you what he thinks is his role in the family space, it will also give you an idea of what the gender roles are in his family. You’ll be able to guess whether his family is more orthodox or progressive in their views
15. Here are the things I cannot compromise on at all. Are you comfortable with it?
Tell him your hard limits. Whether it’s travelling or partying or your job – tell him the things you absolutely cannot compromise on. If he’s accepting of these things, nothing better, my friend!
So go, meet him confidently and ask him everything you want to and more. After all, you’re choosing the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with!
