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The Partnership You Build Is More Important Than The Partner You Pick,  Finds Recent Study

The Partnership You Build Is More Important Than The Partner You Pick, Finds Recent Study

If you have already watched Netflix’s recently released docu-series Indian Matchmaking then you must have also seen the checklists made by people signposting qualities/traits that they seek in a future partner. These checklists feature some crazy-specific traits which can range anywhere from ‘the partner should know about the salt flats in Bolivia’ to ‘they should exactly be like my mother.’ Well, the millennials really do know their minds and what they seek in a partner, right?

But here’s an important question: are happy relationships actually based on individual traits? Not really, suggests a recently released study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. For the study, scientists analyzed information based on over 11,000 couples, drawn from 43 data sets that kept tracking their partnerships for a year. The aim of the study was to find out the extent to which they could predict the quality of relationships and what measures would best predict that.

“Across 43 dyadic longitudinal datasets from 29 laboratories, the top relationship-specific predictors of relationship quality were perceived-partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, perceived-partner satisfaction, and conflict,” the research read.


As per its findings, more than individual traits or qualities, it is your own judgment of your relationship and how happy or satisfied you feel your partner is with you that really determines its quality. In fact, your own perception of the relationship says way more about its quality than either of your personalities. Basically it’s more about how appreciative you are of them irrespective of whether they fit your checklist or not. 

As the study reads, “People’s own judgments about the relationship itself—such as how satisfied and committed they perceived their partners to be, and how appreciative they felt toward their partners—explained approximately 45% of their current satisfaction. The partner’s judgments did not add information, nor did either person’s personalities or traits.”

Samantha Joel, an assistant professor at Western University in London Ontario and the lead author of this study shared in an interaction with CNN “When it comes to a satisfying relationship, the partnership you build is more important than the partner you pick.”


That said, it’s not like relationships and their eventual success is absolutely detached from individual markers, and there exist personality traits and dispositions that can have a considerable impact on your relationship. “The top individual-difference predictors were life satisfaction, negative affect, depression, attachment avoidance, and attachment anxiety,” the report reveals.

However, as Joel further added, “It seems to me that the relationship is more than the sum of its parts. It’s that relationship dynamic itself, rather than the individuals who make up the relationship, that seems to be most important for relationship quality.”

Well, if we were to go by the findings of this study then we are clearing wasting our time if we look for a potential partner with a hard set checklist. Again, this also challenges the entire idea of horoscope matching. And perhaps it’s for the best. 

Featured Image: Instagram 

31 Jul 2020

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