Many of us would agree that the dissected reproductive organs in the NCERT book at school, along with the overtly uncomfortable Biology teacher quickly skimming through the pages of the chapter on the reproductive system, is a far cry from actual sex education. And trust me guys, that was the only sex education that I had ever gotten, along with a little chitter-chatter with some friends on this topic. Unlike my friends, who watched porn, to understand in depth, what was taught at school, I remained quite oblivious to the entire process. Then a few years later, came out the new erotic novel, 50 Shades of Grey, which became a huge sensation among all youngsters. I read the book at age of 19 and there remained a huge gap between what was written, and how much I actually understood. Then I decided to give watching porn, a shot. To be honest, my first experience of watching porn with my friends left me quite disgusted at the extremely explicit content. Besides, the video just made it look like something so painful for the girl. I mean, how else would you explain all the screaming? All in all, this was all the sex ed that I had ever received.
During my third year of college, I started seeing this guy. I had first met him at one of the Delhi University events and he was three years older than me. Back then, I had instantly found his maturity level extremely attractive. We got along with each other quite well. As for the sexual compatibility, it had been limited to us making out a couple of times. Kissing came naturally to me, and it felt so good. However, my lack of knowledge about what would come next, and how would I even go about it, often bothered me. But at the same time, I was very curious to know more about it and experiment. My boyfriend, on the other hand, never rushed me into taking things forward, as far as physical intimacy was concerned.
On one drunken night, I told him that I wanted to share a secret with him. I poured my heart out to him as we discussed my curiosities and fear regarding having sex. I confessed that I had no idea about how it all worked, given that I lacked any kind of proper sex ed and had never been intimate with a guy before. I was anxious about his reaction to this – after all, a 26-year-old guy, could get taken aback by all these details.
To my surprise, he hugged me and told me that he was glad I felt free to share all that with him. He then pulled out a whiteboard from his cupboard and started scribbling something on it. Next I knew, my sex ed lessons had begun. He told me all about foreplay, erogenous areas, sex, and using protection always – and all this, with the help of cute caricatures and bullet points on the whiteboard. Then he cleared all my doubts and answered the bizarre questions that I kept asking him.
However, before he and I actually got to testing his theory in practice, he got a great job offer in the U.S. and moved out. Our relationship was short-lived but I’m ever so grateful to him for patiently teaching me everything about sex.
A year after he moved out, my parents made me meet a guy (for arranged marriage). Luckily, we hit it off from our first meeting and it worked out well for the both of us. Now, I am 25 years old, and I have been married to this guy for over a year. Happily married, with a crazy sex life, mind you! Had it not been for my ex-boyfriend, I would’ve had to bombard my husband with a million ‘how to’ and ‘what if’ questions on our first night.
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