Who is a toxic person? Anybody who is damaging or harmful to your mental or physical health. It could be a friend, a relative or a partner. This person takes over your life and controls every aspect of it, but subtly. They wouldn’t outrightly demand all your sanity, however, it is exactly what they need. Now it may seem like I’m being too harsh but the bitter truth is that we let these people into our lives willingly and refuse to give up on them until something drastic happens and changes our mind.
This toxic person could be moody, demanding all your free time. Or a selfish and immature friend who needs you around to feel better about herself. Or a boyfriend who is great at emotionally blackmailing you. Either way, this person isn’t good for your self-esteem. Some chose to attack your body-image, some tear you apart emotionally making you feel unworthy, while others will have you believe that your happiness depends on them.
He thinks I’m unattractive.
She says I talk too much.
He refuses to listen to my problems.
She doesn’t approve of me having friends of my own.
Many of us have been in this uncomfortable situation. But why? Why do we let these people take over our daily routine and thought process so easily? Because we have hope. We honestly believe that we can fix deeply problematic people and their attitude. We try and let go of our personal expectations and hurt feelings, giving them a chance over and over again, to no avail. The fact of the matter is that you can’t change someone, you will only lose yourself in the process. People are who they are for a reason, and yet we keep making sacrifices for their benefit.
I had a friend once, back when I was a teenager. Her idea of friendship was a daily session, of me, listening to her problems, nodding and her pretending like I was her therapist and my issues didn’t matter. I put up with it for 6 years, mistaking it for our bonding time. Only to realize my mistake years later, when I actually did find a healthy friend circle. So no, these mistakes aren’t limited to falling for ‘bad boys’ and cheating men, toxic people seep into every aspect of your life.
The only preventive measure is to be careful about who you place your trust in, not everybody is worth your time.
GIFs – Giphy