I should admit that I didn’t have high expectations of Kaabil when I went to watch it. The trailers gave away a bit too much of the plot, and the songs and promos hadn’t exactly inspired confidence. But I went because I didn’t want to judge the movie unfairly – considering that it’s been a while since Bollywood has featured differently abled characters as protagonists. But you know what, I should have just stayed home and spared myself a great deal of aggravation and outrage. Here’s my Kaabil review – in the form of how I felt as the movie progressed. Fair warning, though: this is full of spoilers…and might convince you to NOT watch the movie if you were planning to.
P.S.: Before you start, though, here’s the basic plot in case you’ve missed the trailers. Two visually impaired people fall in love and are trying to build a life with each other… But then something awful happens that changes their lives forever.
Hmm. Well. This at least explains the subtitle of the film: ‘The Mind Sees All’.
I mean, sure, it would help Rohan identify her more easily by the sound of her footsteps, but wouldn’t she, for her own sake, be better equipped to deal with the world in more sensible shoes?
Like, what, both their phones were simultaneously out of battery?
But how does a dubbing artist in Mumbai afford the down payment on a penthouse apartment in a highrise?!
Okay, I just don’t understand that.
But why is her face frozen in that smile? Hrithik at least has three or four different expressions.
And he’s being romantic with his new wife by pretending to be Amitabh Bachchan on the phone! *Facepalm*
Ahhh, they did this so that they could get abducted easily and help the plot move forward. GOT IT.
He won’t eat with her, talk to her, comfort her…and in the face of her saying ‘It’s okay if you want to leave me now because things have changed forever’, he won’t say a word? A+ for a**holery, dude.
Where are their friends and neighbours? How does no one think that more than anything else this girl needs support and caring right now?
Whereas a wife’s suicide would do what – make him jump for joy? So, basically, the movie hinges on a) complete insensitivity to a rape survivor’s emotional trauma; b) utter lack of logic?
The villains in this movie are really stupid.
One villain told the hero what he’d done. And the hero is telling the other villains what he is planning to do. What is this – I’ll show you mine in the hope that you’ll show me yours? #ThreeCheersForZeroLogic
Heyyy! I managed to find a plus point for this movie!
I hate to think that poor Urvashi Rautela probably had to get a bikini wax to be in this song. *Shudder*
Why doesn’t he just use his mobile to do this shit? Wouldn’t it be simpler?
And why do they never call back/ text the saved mobile numbers to coordinate these shady meetings that they’re blindly agreeing to show up for?
And our hero Rohan has no qualms about innocent bystanders getting knifed in the gut in his quest for vengeance?
Should I just go to sleep?
Which means we must be at least two-thirds of the way through the movie.
What is this dead-wife-living plot device? When did it become so popular without me noticing?
Almost two hours in, I’ve found a second plus point for this movie. Whoa, they’re on a roll.
Inko kabhi call-centre type spam calls nahin aate hai kya? Abhi tak calls screen karna nahin sikhaya kisi ne?
Literally the only difference between Aryan-and-Gaurav tumbling down from the roof of a building and Rohan-and-Madhavrao doing the same thing is that Rohan has a safety harness. *SURPRISE*
And thus were actually responsible for the second rape and subsequent suicide? Shoot me, guys. JUST SHOOT ME.
So, NO, folks. This was not a movie about two blind protagonists being kaabil enough to live life on their own terms. Neither was this a movie about the brutal aftermath of rape that a woman has to live through. (Because, duh, obvs she kills herself to help the other people in her life cope with the situation.) This was basically a movie about Hrithik Roshan being kaabil of drawing people to movie theatres in spite of the film being a huge pile of steaming horseshit.